They always say opposites attract don’t they? But who are “they?” Are they people who have had a significant other like sweet when they like sour candy? Or are they people whose significant other likes heavy metal when they like Justin Beiber? Or are they actually people who have had a significant other significantly differ from you where the solve isn’t just buying two bags of candy? 
Besides the one I’m currently in, I’ve only been in one relationship that has lasted longer than six months. I see similarities in these two guys. Not yet the similarities that are warning signs (that mean I should exit stage left) but personality wise. My friends will tell you I’m one of the most social, extroverted person they know. Even people that have known me for five minutes can already tell I’m a lot of personality with a thick schedule. So why have both of my relationships been with the most introverted type of guy? Is it really that opposites attract? Do I need their calmness? It’s hard to think that I would be with someone that wants alone time when I’m constantly wanting to be included and surrounded by people. Maybe I need to learn how to be alone with myself and they help me realize that. 

Looking back on my almost two-year relationship with CJ during Junior and Senior year of college, I wish I ended it six months before he did. I don’t understand why I was so devastated when he broke up with me. But then again, I was 22 and knew nothing of what this great big world had in store for me. He would tell me I wouldn’t make it in NYC. That it was too big and scary. He found the smallest ways to put me down that last year when all I needed was someone to build me up. Well look at me now, buddy. I don’t regret our relationship. We made a lot of special memories and I’m sure we shaped each other into the people we are today. I only wish him the best.

CJ had some of the same qualities as Mister Man. Both are not big drinkers, have their passion sport, could become internally focused and not into social media. None of these were the red flags for CJ. I know what to look out for with Mister Man and when I see one waving, I can have the conversation on the spot and healthily talk it out, see if it is worthwhile and move on. We just have to make sure we are on the same page. Even though some pages in our books are quite different.

I like hanging out with big groups of people. He doesn’t.

I can overindulge in alcohol. He doesn’t. (This is something I have realized I appreciate and value in a partner as opposed to some of the clowns I’ve dated).

I’ll pick going out to eat and he will prefer to cook at home. (Another preference I am learning to appreciate. Not only is it cheaper but it is healthier. And he is a damn good cook so I’ll go to his kitchen any time.)

I take all the pictures. He takes none and for pictures of us it is one and done.

I tell the whole world about us. (Example A: this blog). Not even his family knows about me. 

I have picture of us on my desk at work. He has a cactus. And no pictures up of any personal kind in his house either. 

I’ll show friends his cute texts to make them jealous or share conversations to get advice. I don’t think he has shared one screen shot of anything between us. 

I want to be included in everything. He wants to be alone.

I have $0 savings and he is financially responsible.

I’ve never been cheated on. He has. And it has damaged him. I hate her for what she did to him. 

I rarely make my bed. He always makes his. But trust me, I made his when I’m over.

I’m ready to take him home for Christmas. The feeling is not mutual on his end.

I hear songs and think of a memory or someone. He hears songs for the sound and rhythms.

I want him to meet and get to know my friends. He’d rather not. In our six months together he has done one event with my friends and I could tell it was torture for him.

I’m allergic to cats. He has a cat. I’m surprisingly still alive and must’ve built up a magical immunity to his cat.

I run at a pace of 9:14. He runs at a pace of 7:37. This is where I get to slow his roll. 

I went on a work trip and brought back a coffee mug. He went to visit his home country and brought back a mug for me. Oh wait. That’s the something in common. Something cute.

Despite all these differences he makes me a better, well-rounded person and I hope I do him as well. We all need to step outside of our comfort zone. Sometimes I do need to tone it down. I don’t need to post every picture and use 12 different hashtags. No one cares what bars I checked in at and who I was with. Maybe I don’t need to binge drink and eat every weekend spending hundreds of dollars of my hard earned money. I have just as good a weekend, if not better, spent in his CT apartment where we sometimes do absolutely nothing but Netflix and Chill. I don’t wake up with a hangover or trying to remember what happened the night before. I don’t look at my bank account and regret buying rounds of shots or look at my phone and regret some texts and calls that occurred. I wake up refreshed and next to one damn special, handsome guy. And I wouldn’t trade that for any other kind of weekend. 

They say it takes 21 days to make a habit. This saying is in reference to dieting, working out, etc but I wonder if it applies to dating as well. If you make it to 21 days of seeing someone does that therefore make them a habit? You’ve gotten used to each other. The initial get to know you facts are out of the way. But, does the woo phase go away at this point where you two have become a habit in each other’s lives? This is always contingent on the couple and the individual personalities. I think the form of woo just changes. It becomes less superficial and more in depth. It can go from a goofy “thinking about you” picture to questions to get to know your family and investing in your health and background. But you still get butterflies and do a little “woo-hoo!” in your mind when you see their name pop up on their phone.

The first three weeks with Mister Man might as well have been a Nicholas Sparks mini-novel. I never experienced someone so thoughtful, kind and supportive. I could completely be myself with him and same with him being himself with me. I would tell my friends things he did and they had to hold down the vomit. From doing sit ups with kisses at the top to sending the cheesiest of texts and snaps. I was head over boots and my friends heads were between their boots.

We went on our first official date that Sunday after we met, just like I had put in our calendars. He picked out a place with plenty of gluten-free options and drove down from CT to spend the evening with me. He was so handsome pulling up in his white car. It might as well have been a white horse. And wow, did he smell amaze-balls and his shirt was purple – my favorite color, which he knew.

We went to Heidi’s House, which he picked for their gluten-free options. So considerate and one of my favorite spots. The meal was delicious. The bottle of wine was delicious. And the game of Battleship was devious since he let me win! That was a moment for me. A moment of selflessness and how nice it feels to have someone truly care about you. The night ended with another innocent night over and early morning departure, but the butterflies stayed.

The following week was almost torture not being able to see him but we stayed in touch with the cheesiest of snaps and texts. My heart would light up along with my phone when I saw his name pop up. The following weekend he was moving so I offered to go to CT for the first time. I’ve dated people on the MetroNorth before and hated it but now I don’t hate getting on that train. I’m happy to hop on it, even on a work night. I went up late Saturday afternoon after a bottomless Sangria brunch with my friends. Mister Man and I had dinner at BANC House. Tons of BBQ (he knows I’m a Texas girl!) and oysters. Those oysters. That night. Wow. The following morning, that’s when I started to really fall for this guy. He bought gluten-free Bisquick to make us a delicious breakfast. Little did I know this was the first of many delicious meals. Mister Man is quite the cook! Dining out became a thing of the past for me. I attribute this to my healthier lifestyle as well.

Then I was gone for a week and a half in Austin, TX. We talked continuously. We were both really sad about me going away for a while and not seeing each other. I was mad because I knew the infamous LA guy was going to be in Austin, TX as well. He pretty much made fun of me when I told him I was seeing someone. I ignored him and went on to my drunk dialing to Mister Man. While away, social media issues arose and we even had a healthy conversation over my concerns. I had never had someone been so responsive and communicate well to a question. I was pleased and definitely would “love” that status. Coming back from TX, I was delayed 9 hours. I was so excited to spend Memorial Day weekend with Mister Man and he had a meal all prepared for my arrival but I ended up not getting in until 10pm. We ordered pizza. Gluten-free of course. We had a great weekend cooking, grilling and Netflix and chilling. Heavy on the chill. And the chill has been the hottest of my life.

The distance has never been a problem. The commute is almost easier and definitely more enjoyable. Mister Man has been so motivating in me bettering my life in so many aspects such as fitness and diet. I’ve lost 20 pounds since being with Mister Man. I’m excited to share my workouts with him, such as hitting my running goal of being under 30 minutes for a 5K, and healthy eating choices. I love that he isn’t much of a drinker. I don’t miss the hangovers. I just miss him when I’m not with him. Since these first few weeks we see each other pretty consistently. Most weekends are spent in CT at the beach or in NYC on boats with food and drinks. We even went up to a beautiful beach in Rhode Island to spend a summer day. The first 21 days were especially magical and I hope that spark never fades. Just like a current popular song, “Don’t need no butterflies when you give me the whole damn zoo.”

PSA: I’m officially a BeachBody Coach so if you’re interested in learning more about how I’ve lost 20 pounds in about three months, send me a message or comment below! 🙂 

Something magical. I’m now a believer in the saying that it happens when you least expect it. One of my favorite quotes is, “Life is like a butterfly. You can chase it or let it come to you.”

It was early May and I was about to go to Chicago on my first Manager’s Retreat. I had just gotten promoted at work and was so excited. My energy was on the highest levels and I felt on top of the world. I had deleted my dating apps a few weeks prior and didn’t even miss them. I decided it was time to focus on my job. I didn’t need or want a man anymore. I went to this retreat with the mindset that I would meet and hang out with managers I wouldn’t normally get the chance to talk to. There were about 120 people and it was a very enriching week. I met managers from Tokyo, Dublin, Toronto; different departments, all over. I was in bed each night at 10:00 a.m. and so refreshed for our events each day when you could see the glaze of hangover on some other’s faces who had went out the night before. I didn’t build any best friend bonds during this trip. No one was inviting me to have wine in their hotel room and when I went to hotel bar to scope it out and chat with more people I even had a table say were in a deep conversation — insinuating for me to not sit with them. I felt lonely on this trip. Some managers were brand new like me but already had good friends. Others had been managers for years and already had strong bonds. I pretty much was a loner for once in my life and you know what? It was bittersweet.

The final night of the retreat came and we had Oz the Mentalist as our performer. Some new faces to me went up as he pre-recorded their favorite numbers, what they were wearing and decisions they would make. It was an entertaining evening for sure. The next day we all boarded our flights at O’Hare at different times. As far as I was concerned I was the only one on my flight and shared a cab with some teammates from my department to get there early. Thank God I did as the TSA line ended up being 90 minutes long. Not only was it long but when I got my ID checked they wouldn’t take it because it was cracked. They also didn’t care for my passport because it wasn’t signed. I was lucky I got on this plane. I just wanted to go home. In the midst of the TSA line I saw a familiar face though. It was one of the guys that went up with the Mentalist. He was the one that guessed what the Mentalist bought his sister and then the Mentalist had pre-recorded her choice as well as what he was wearing: a blue/orange striped shirt, jeans and white Adidas. He recognized me (or just my Indeed suitcase) as well and we immediately talked about the Mentalist and realized we were on the same flight. We were both happy we got to the airport early since the TSA line was atrocious.

After I finally got through TSA I noticed there was an earlier flight. I rushed to that gate to try and grab it but there were 50 people on standby so that wasn’t working in my favor. I moseyed over to the gate of my booked flight and hoped to see Mentalist Man at the gate and hoped that he would be up for a drink because it had been A DAY. Not more than five seconds later he walked up. I definitely found him attractive in the TSA line but now that we were out of that nonsense I could see that wow, this guy really is attractive. He was totally up for a drink and was going to ask me the same. We went to Bubbles and talked about the retreat while we waited for our flight. I enjoyed some Prosecco and he enjoyed some Sam Adams. Conversation was flowing and bubbly. I purposely planted my name so he would know it (and he was later glad I did) and he did the same. Although, he had to repeat his last name a few times for me I finally got it.

We didn’t want the conversation to end so we made a plan of attack to sit together on the plane. I was 13A and he was 29A. Essentially, we just had to find 29B. Who doesn’t want to move up to a window seat at the front of the plane?? We walked up to the gate and I excitedly said in a normal voice “now to find 29B!” And, there she was. Within five feet of us. We were both shocked but happy. She was with a friend and after bartering with some wine, we split up the friends, gave her the window seat and I ended up in the back of the plane in 29B and him 29C. The flight continued with nonstop talk and more wine and beer. Conversation became more personal and we ventured out from talk about the retreat and got to know each other. It was wild how everything was working out.

We ended up sharing a cab into the city. He lived in CT and couldn’t get an Uber so I suggested Ubering to the city with me and then taking MetroNorth. When we got to my place, the new bar below me, Ethyl’s had just opened. We had to go. Or, I forced us to go. So, we dropped off our luggage in my lobby and off to free drinks and burlesque dancers we went. We had a really good time. He opened up to me and I learned a lot about him. Him and I were both dream chasers with him moving to the states and me moving to NYC. We didn’t have the same personality types from our retreat tests but they were definitely complimentary. I was an extrovert to his introvert. We had our first kiss on my rooftop and he innocently stayed over and left early the next morning. Work was a little tough for both of us but it was at least a Friday. At Ethyl’s we made plans to see each other on Sunday. Everything he said was so perfect, our time was magical and I felt like I was in a dream.

We received these cards at retreat for us to write a promise to ourselves. The card read “____ because I said I would.” In addition to this day full of unexpected surprises, he pulled his out at the end of the night and wrote on it and gave it to me: “I’m going to make the most out of this because I said I would.”

Three years ago today I moved to NYC with my three suitcases, one month sublet, nine interviews and sunshine state of mind. I was ready to conquer the world. I had faith that I would find a job and start my life in NYC. I didn’t do it alone of course. I had help and support from my family and friends. I also had my trust in God that this was his plan for me. My decision to move came at a Sunday evening Mass at St. Marks in Wesley Chapel, FL. I prayed before Mass about whether I should move to NYC. It was risky. I didn’t have a job and I had friends there but would be completely uprooting my life. Nothing was holding me back in Florida. The homily that evening was about taking chances and not having regrets. It was pretty clear my prayers had been answered and I went home and told my Mom I was going to make the move. To trust God in the light is nothing but to trust him in the dark – that’s faith. I took my leap of faith and three years later here I am in my lovely Upper East Side apartment and fantastic job. The job portion wasn’t as easy as I had hoped in the beginning but I’ve been at Indeed 2.5 years and been promoted twice and now managing a team. Three years ago I couldn’t even imagine this life for me. The apartment search was a challenge as well. Within 10 months I lived in five different apartments before settling down in the fifth where I have just signed my third year lease and live with the friendliest of roommates. I couldn’t be more blessed.

Job. Check. Apartment. Check. Dating? Well that’s been a whole other adventure. It’s amazing all the shit I have been through with men these past three years in NYC. I should write about all these awful dates. Oh wait, I do. ;). I decided at my church retreat end of April that it was time to focus my prayers on finding someone to share my life with. You can’t share your life with someone until your path is paved. Well, my path is pretty damn paved now. I made a 2016 goal to settle down and hang up my party and binge drinking shoes and have at least someone I’ve gone on five dates with and somewhat jokingly to get engaged by end of year. The partying wasn’t getting me any type of quality man out there. At this retreat, which the theme was transitions, we had this beautiful prayer tree. We were all given a ribbon to write down a hope, dream or grace. I asked God to open up my heart to share with someone. Each day at this retreat I couldn’t stop staring at this tree filled with the hopes, dreams and graces of the 40 people on this retreat. It was a beautiful thing and I couldn’t help but hope my hope would grow into fruition.

I met this wonderful man three and a half weeks ago. I didn’t meet him swiping on an app. I didn’t meet him at a bar. I met him when I least expected to meet someone. And, I love our story of how we met. Sometimes I have to pinch myself because I think it is too good to be true. I’m ridiculously content, never hesitate to be myself with him and feel like I’ve known him much longer than 24 days. Things just feel different and my emotions are all turned around in such a good way. My mind hasn’t gone crazy until tonight because I’m hitting that point that’s inevitable with me where I look for something to go wrong. There’s no reason for me to think this. Absolutely nothing is wrong. But, this is definitely a self learning process for me. Whether this is long-term or not I need to keep my faith in God and trust that this plan has been put into motion for a reason. Maybe this is my hope I tied onto that tree coming true. Maybe it’s not. Either way, I’m gonna make the most out of this.

“Don’t be afraid. Just believe.” Mark 5:36.

Said Google Guy on our third date. I thought I had been through enough crazy dating stories but looks like there isn’t an end. Google Guy, whom I met on Bumble, was great on paper. He is a 34-year-old Software Engineer at Google, tall and slender, resides in the East Village, from the midwest and ran the NYC Marathon last year. Sounds like a winner right? By the end of date two I knew he wasn’t the guy for me. Date three was strictly to just get more entertaining and wow, did I get it.

Date #1: We went to Bar Veloce in the West Village. It was short and sweet. Short as in 35 minutes and sweet as in my prosecco was tasty. He had gotten stuck at work late so I enjoyed my sorority happy hour and then we met before our other prior engagements. Conversation consisted of mostly running talk, which was him running his mouth about his running group and then having a dialogue about full marathons. I thought the date was just short and sweet but in date number two he said he had to ask me out again because our first date was so “atrocious.” Wow.

Date #2: I was honestly surprised to hear from Google Guy again. I had seen another guy (another entry for another time) the same week and felt so much chemistry with that one and none with Google Guy. I figured I would give him another chance and my friends encouraged me to as well. He was always very formal about setting plans. He always picked the place and was very good at follow-up to confirm we were still on. These dates almost felt like a business transaction with no romance. We met at Cubano in midtown on a Tuesday for dinner. He used to work at Bloomberg and this was a favorite of his so this was his choice when I said I wanted to be more East-side. I made a suggestion about sharing two plates and his response was pretty much an absolutely not. I need a man to allow variety of plates in my life. No, I don’t want to eat off your spoon but yes, I will eat off your plate. He did let me try his beef dish as I just had ceviche.

Conversation was interesting over dinner. Questions that arose included “What do you want the composition of your family to be?” and a lot of questions around settling down and kids. I don’t want kids. At least, not anytime soon. I gave my stock (yet honest) response that I would decide when I meet “the one” but that I definitely want some selfish husband time to travel. We also discussed religion, an important topic to me. He says he used to be Catholic and his mom cries because of how he has stepped away from the church. He didn’t lose his virginity until his mid 20s as he was saving himself for marriage. He also seems to be a serial monogamist. A pitcher of sangria (I wish it were five pitchers) later were done and I suggested going across the street to Dylan’s Candy Bar’s actual bar. We caught them 20 minutes before closing and they almost wouldn’t serve us. I was willing to relocate but he wanted to stay. This is where things got crunchy and sticky. He started to tell me more about this running group and how they have some themed runs. Themes that included him in red fish nets and a tutu. Ok, tell me more. We relocated to Honky Tonk Tavern. I need to be in an environment I was comfortable with since conversation started getting uncomfortable. I also had my sorority sister planted to “crash” the date. The conversation started flowing with my Shiner Bocks. He told me some fascinating things.

• He isn’t opposed to being with a guy. He is well versed in penis and thinks he could do wonders on a guy.
• The same man that asked me about the composition of my future family told me that he wants him and his wife to be swingers in 20 years
• I learned that “pegger” means and will let Urban Dictionary tell you want it means. I try to keep this a somewhat classy environment
• He wants a 2M, 1 F threesome experience. No thanks. I think I’m busy that night and every night.
• He may have encountered HPV and if things got further with us then he has pamphlets at his place. What? I got the shot I say. He says, this strain is neither detectable on men and isn’t covered by the shot. Honey, I wasn’t going to sleep with you anyway.

Date #3: Why would there even be a third date after the last one? Good question. Ulterior motives on my behalf looking for more entertainment and material. And him? Maybe he thought he found someone who was ok with his repressed bisexual (PSA: There is nothing wrong with bisexuals, homosexuals or asexuals … I just want someone that I don’t have to compete for the whole world population). This date was planned on a Friday as I think he wanted to get fresh. I got to pick the place though and I went for Javelina queso and margaritas. He was a bit peeved that I didn’t make a reservation. I didn’t want to sit at a table. I wanted to sit at the bar. We lucked out and got a spot and then I lucked out on hearing about his weekend in Boston with his running group. I spent my weekend before this date at a church retreat north of NYC. He proceeds to show me his costume for this run. Let me paint this picture: Turquoise wig that curls up at the end just past the shoulder, redder lipstick than I have ever owned, mascara and leather strappy bottoms that do show the buttocks. He tells me some people were made uncomfortable by this costume. No shit Sherlock. I’m uncomfortable just looking at this picture. I can’t imagine seeing it in person. Google Guy then proceeds to tell me about a guy that has a crush on him that was on the running trip with him.

Me: Did y’all talk about his feelings (someone get me another margarita NOW)

Him: We did. And then it got to a point where I asked him if he wanted to make out.

Me: (Slowly drinks margarita to process what I just heard) Oh. And did you?

Him: Yes, we made out.

Me: Was it good?

Him: Yeah, it wasn’t bad at all.

Me: And he lives in Boston?

Him: No, NYC

Me: Well, I guess I have no problem telling you that I kissed a guy in the woods on my church retreat this past weekend!

Him: What kind of retreat was this?!

Me: (What kind of running group is this?)

So there it was. That golden nugget of information I was looking for. My stomach was hurting from earlier and it was just getting worse at this point but I really love Javelina’s margs and queso. He was trying to get me closer to his apartment to do dinner and essentially go home with him. Neither of this happened as I stated I was full on queso. Then the topics of weddings came up after he tried to kiss me. I told him how I was very open to non-traditional weddings. He seemed flabbergasted by this and so I gently reminded him that my dad had died (told him this on date #2). I don’t know if his repressed feelings for men and all this information he had shared with me was worst of this sentence.

“Well, maybe you should’ve gotten married sooner.”

Looking back I wish I walked out as opposed to demanding an apology. Two days later I got this text:

“Hey, hope you’re feeling better. I wanted to let you know that I think we should probably see other people. I think out personalities and values aren’t as much of a match as I think I ned. You’re fun and lovely though, and I wish you luck out there :-)”

This was the most manly thing he had done our whole three dates besides paying for 75% of them. I was relieved because I had every intention of telling him the same thing if he asked me out again. I wrote back to solidify this civil ending:

“Thanks and 100% agree. Was going to tell you the same thing actually ;). I want to focus on my new job and not at the point where I want to settle down/move as quickly as much as you do. Good luck as well!”

My search bar in Google now reads: NEXT!

I decided to give up alcohol not only for Lent but in preparation of the NYC Half Marathon which conveniently was the week before Easter. My birthday also fell on Mardi Gras so all the signs were pointing to “stop drinking.” Focus on your health, your race and relationship with God. I decided to journal each day. I’m not an alcoholic by any means but life in NYC truly does revolve around alcohol in its social functions. I’m happy to say I was able to go out, be social and have tons of fun without alcohol. I also learned lessons from when I do drink. I also lost a few pounds.

Lent: 2/10-3/27
Number of days sober: 40

Number of cheat/drunk days: 6

Day 1: Extremely hung over from my birthday yesterday. Excessive drinking made me feel bad physically and emotionally. My mom thought I was kidding when I said I was giving up alcohol for Lent. I’m offended and makes me want to follow through even more!

Day 2: I was supposed to go to a Valentine’s weekend social tonight. I was really looking forward to it but don’t feel well. No 4.5 mile run either. Still recovering from the weekend and definitely don’t miss alcohol. I wouldn’t have been tempted to drink tonight anyway but missing out on the exercise and friends!

Day 3: I’m sick so I don’t want to drink anyway. However going to a place with chicken in the title and not being able to eat the meat (it’s Friday) as well as not drink the soju takes incredible self control. 37 days to go. PS – spent the same amount as everyone else because seafood ramen is pricy. And why do sodas cost $4? I can buy a liter!

Day 4: No hangover and feeling better! So far this is a winning situation. Went to brunch where only 4/7 were drinking bottomless mimosas. I had no problem being part of the tea and coffee crew! My friend invited me to a bar tonight but it is definitely one of those bars you have to drink at. I love her and want to go but I think I’ll enjoy my Soul Cycle class and salad instead. Seven mile run tomorrow!

Day 5: Loved waking up before my alarm and had a fantastic 7 mile run followed by brunch with friends. I was my typical goofy self with my tea and Diet Coke while they enjoyed the mimosas and sangria. 

Day 6-9: Waking up before alarms and usually never drank much during the week anyway. All about the work outs! Day 9 I went on my first date during this time. I was clear from the beginning that I wasn’t drinking but we had a good dinner anyway. 

Day 10: It’s Friday. I really want to have a drink. This sucks. My team is all drinking for a coworkers birthday and I’m going to a BYOB sushi spot for dinner. Bring on the diet cokes and tea … 

Day 11: Greetings from TX! I’ve gone back and forth with myself about “cheating” while on vacation. On one hand my sister said “what if Jesus decided to have a margarita instead of dying for your sins?” On the other hand, there’s nothing wrong with drinking in moderation and I’m not necessarily sinning. I have 8 miles to run in the AM so I’m not going to binge the night away.

Day 12: Ran the 8 miles. More tired than hungover. Made stupid decisions last night and made out with a 23 year old. Damn booze. Had a Bloody Mary at brunch and Mexican Martini with dinner. Happy Sunday.

Day 13: Happy National Margarita Day! I had a bunch.

Day 14: Woke up and ran 5k. Didn’t feel as good as normal thanks to the margs from last night. Drank a lot at the work reception and then out after. I got to a point where I thought “wow, I’m drunk” and grabbed my teammates and Lyfted it back to the hotel. I made an effort to see someone I shouldn’t have. Luckily, and per usual, he was unresponsive. 

Day 15: Super tired and hungover. Drank again tonight and made stupid decisions again and drank too much. Ended up losing my coworkers and hanging out with some weird Austin people. I didn’t make it home until 5 a.m. Fail. 

Day 16: #HasNewLent is over and I’m happy about it. 

Day 17: Detoxed with a juice cleanse. Best decision ever made. Had some friends over for a night of TV. I had no interest in their beer they brought.

Day 18: Finally feeling more like myself! Did spin and dinner. Milkshakes > Beer with a burger.

Day 19-22: Working out a ton. Not missing the booze. But then again, it’s not the weekend yet. 

Day 23: Went to two happy hours and happily enjoyed ginger ale and a virgin tropical drink!

Day 24: Met some friends at a bar and enjoyed the social scene sans cocktails. Love the saving of the money in this! Afterward I met up with a Bumble Boy. I had a ginger ale while he pounded back the whiskey. We definitely weren’t a match but hey, at least I was a cheap date! 

Day 25: No hangover and morning Soul Cycle for the win! Brunch included a delicious cucumber ginger soda. That night I went with all my TX friends to dinner (Tex-Mex!) and Pat Green/Randy Rodgers concert. I will say I really wanted to dive into the $5 margaritas and $7 shiners. Also, it was interesting wearing sober glasses as the night got longer and people got drunker and seeing how dumb and sloppy people are.

Day 26: The reception after the TCU Recital at Carnegie Hall was very nice. Complete with hor d’oeuvres and an open bar. Keep the crab cakes and creme brûlée coming. I’ll stick to Diet Coke.

Day 27-28: Fitness is in high gear this week as the half marathon is now less than two weeks away. Woke up at 5:40am for a 6am Soul Cycle class. I feel on top of the world on a Tuesday!

Day 29-31: Skipped some events such as the after young adult Mass social that I typically would go to. I wasn’t in the mood to be social and didn’t want to be around alcohol. 

Day 32: After a day of skiing I decided to somehow allow myself to let Daylight Savings count as a means to cheat. I had 4-5 drinks. And ruined something that could’ve been special with a guy who I had been chatting with on Bumble. We didn’t have sex but we didn’t meet under the right pretenses. My word for the situation: angry. His: awkward. 

Day 33: Blatantly and obviously punished for having consumed alcohol. Hungover and depressed. Sure last night was fun at times but I really do get depressed after drinking and have physical and emotional reactions. Not sure why I did it and disappointed in myself. I forced myself to go to church and the Gospel was fitting. John 8. Read it if you don’t know it. “From now on…”

Day 34-36: The Half Marathon is this coming Sunday so the last thing I want to do to my body is put alcohol in it. I even had a date this Wednesday at a place that has delicious sangria. The date was *** sans the sangria. 

Day 37: Happy St. Patrick’s Day! A day known for high consumption of alcohol and debauchery. I remember a St. Patrick’s Day in Tampa, years ago, where a friend and I had a kissing contest. No idea how many guys (or girls even) I kissed for that matter. The only thing I’m kissing this St. Patrick’s Day are my shins in hopes that this short test run goes well.

Day 38: Went to a bar for my friend’s birthday. It was centered around basketball which made me really want a beer but nah. I have 13.1 miles to look forward to! I did leave earlier than I normally would and a night well rested was more appealing than a night out galavanting. 

Day 39: It’s the day before my half marathon! I relaxed all day and ate all the carbs! I did go to a bar for my friend’s birthday but was home in bed by 930a. It was glorious. 

Day 40: It’s Half Marathon day! The reason for the months of training and a big reason I gave up alcohol is finally here. I met my goal (if you exclude my bathroom break) and I felt amazing before, during and after! I allowed myself some celebratory margaritas and celebratory bar hopping with fellow racers. Nothing wrong with in moderation and I definitely burned enough calories! Plus, I made it to church just in time for Palm Sunday! 

Day 41: Wow my body hurts from the run but I feel amazing. I met my friend for dinner at a place where I usually consume at least four martinis. Not today! All H2O please.

Day 42: All these cancelations and delays for my flight to FL really make me want to have a beer at the airport as I wait for three hours but I’ll pass. It’s Holy Week and I’m going to have the main intent for the no drinking be for Lent now. 

Day 43-44: Enjoyed some lovely time with my mom while being at home. Meeting up with friends who have cut alcohol out of their diet as well makes things easy! I did go to a steak dinner on Holy Thursday. My glass of red wine was to be representative on The Last Supper and to just enjoy with my steak. No drunkeness or gluttony.

Day 45: Sister Date Days used to include a lot of alcohol. Not today! It’s also Good Friday so we enjoyed skipping a meal and then enjoy sushi for dinner. No wine.

Day 46: Oxford Exchange had so many yummy teas to choose from I didn’t even think about a Bloody Mary for brunch. I did enjoy a happy hour sangria with my dinner but just one. It reminded me of a former roommate of mine. He said he would never just have one drink. That it is pointless to have one if you don’t keep going. He was mostly an idiot but this statement makes sense. Why waste the money and empty calories for one drink?

Lessons

1. 0-2 drinks when going on a date or planning to meet a guy

2. Day drinking > night drinking 

3. Turn phone off or give to a friend when out drinking

4. Reserve nights out binging to be with close, accountable friends

5. The feeling after a run, work out or Soul Cycle class is far greater than that of a night drinking. It’s especially better than the hangover that will come the next day putting one out of commission for the whole day and possibly the next 

6. I didn’t really save a lot of money because I used those funds I would’ve spent on a night out on Soul Cycle

7. Drinking and working out in the same day or next morning is like oil and water. It just doesn’t go together. Be kind to your body. 

Lessons learned here and moving forward I’ll only allow drinking 0-2 days per week and continue encouraging sober date ideas. That way, I can get to know the guy better and see his creativity. Alcohol can be fun when used wisely and in moderation. After seeing how crowds got after a few drinks while being out made me never want to enter that drunk state of mind again. I hope this journaling is inspirational and can help others realize the benefits of not drinking and to be smarter if they do choose to consume alcohol. Cheers to this experience being worthwhile and something I want to continue to further better myself! 

Guilty of Ghosting! And also Marco Rubio dropping out of the Republican Presidential win. I don’t know which is worse; Rubio dropping out or this date I went on with someone who was lactose intolerant to Javelina for queso a few months back. Delayed entry, I know.

Mike was from Bumble (aren’t they all?) and fortunately for him Javelina offered him tequila tasting while I enjoyed my queso. And lots of it. I’ll admit. I wasn’t really attracted to the guy but his smile on his profile drew me in and I wanted to learn more. To counteract this I made sure that we went to a place I would absolutely love so if the date went bad, at least I knew I would have good queso and margaritas.

The date ended up being full of laughs, bad “dad jokes” (didn’t realize that was a term for what I think is hysterical clean jokes) discussion of his poor work-life balance (he even said he doesn’t manage his time right) and also about his lack of Christmas Cheer. His family doesn’t have the same traditions as me or even celebrate Christmas for that matter. Poor kid didn’t grow up with gifts and he saves a lot of money not having to buy for his parents or siblings. From this I learned that I want someone that

From this date I learned that I want someone that had a solid work-life balance and has similar family traditions and values. He had a dinner to attend so he left me at Javelina and one of my favorite Texan girls replaced him promptly. I’m 99% sure he had dinner plans with another girl. We talked about going out again and both agreed to it. We made tentative plans for the next week and he ended up having to cancel because he got stuck at work (surprise surprise). I never heard from him again until he texted me a few weeks later about how he was sorry he fell off the face of the earth and should be above water now. I just didn’t reply. I just thought of writing this because I just deleted his texting chain when I was clearing out my phone on the plane. Whether he was ghosting or truly busy at work, I have time for neither. Now, the bigger question is what Republican to support now until the Independent parties surface?

I think winter has come to an end here in NYC. But during the cold times we have had, as I walk home all bundled up with my numb face, I see so many couples. They all seem like lucky little squirrels that found their nuts for the winter. I was chatting with my best guy friend and we were both hoping to have boyfriends by the winter. If anything, just have that body warmth to cuddle with in the sub-zero temperatures. Now we’re looking to find guys before the summer!

I think back to when I lived in the South. Was dating easier there or is it just so different in NYC that I can’t even compare? I wonder if I had stayed in TX or FL where my life would be sometimes. Had I stayed in TX I wouldn’t be surprised if I would be married, and possibly, bite my tongue, kids. But, I would never have lived my life for me. I wouldn’t have explored my dream to live in NYC. I saw “How to be Single” over Valentine’s weekend and I am definitely doing it right. Living the single life right that is. Like in the end, one day you turn around and it’s done. When will it be done for me? I feel like I am putting myself out there and I definitely don’t have desperation slapped across my forehead because I am completely content being single. I feel ready though. Ready to share my life with someone and learn and grow together.

While I was home in Florida for Christmas I decided to not cut off dating completely. I buzzed around Bumble to see what types of guys FL Bumble had to offer. At first I had no matches, which I found bizarre. Then I realized my mileage was set to 1-2 miles. Perfect for NYC to remove the Jersey Boys and Lawng Islanders but definitely not reasonable in Florida, and almost too creepy close. After expanding the 30 miles the swipes started coming in. See below for some entertaining ones. Pick up lines courtesy of my niece on Christmas Eve.

Reply with only Bieber lyrics

Be timely

Be cheesy

How come this never transpired? Who knows him? haha

Not only did I buzz around Bumble but I also went on two dates.

Date number one was at Kona Grill. It probably wasn’t a date but any context in where there is a guy, a girl, conversation and he pays can technically be considered one. It was a post work meet up for happy hour drinks and sushi. I couldn’t have as many mojitos as I would’ve liked because I had to drive home. This is definitely a pro and con of the south. Pro: You have to drive so you can’t consume that much alcohol. This prevents stupid decisions. Con: You have to drive so you can’t consume that much alcohol. This limits your intake of alcohol that you might want to consume. Especially, when prices are happy during happy hour. I can’t recall much of the conversation and he gathered the bill while I used the restroom. I thought we would meet up another time while I was there but I think I decided that if I did live in Florida, this Tampa man would just be a friend. He didn’t seem to have the ability to let loose and made himself out to be “too adult” to have fun.

Date number two was with someone I was supposed to go on a blind date with about five years ago. We finally made the date happen. Again, not sure if it was a “date” per se but it was a guy, a girl, conversation and him paying for the bill. He has a fantastic job these days and a fantastic personality. We had a great dinner on the water at Island Way Grill and then went and watched the TCU bowl game. Two of my favorite things: waterfront views and football. I ended up creating him a profile on Bumble. Once this is was done I completely lost him in all the swipes, rightfully so. He needs someone that lives in Tampa area. As much as he and my family want me to move back, I probably won’t. But, if I did live in Tampa, this would be a strong Bachelor contender.

At the end of February, my company sent my team on a retreat to Austin, TX. I was so excited to go back to Texas! First off, to end last entry’s story of “Texas our Texass.” Never saw him. He completely ignored my texts and I drunkenly told him how bad he is at communication. To resurrect another story – LA Guy was there. It really did bring back all the emotions I felt when we first met. I didn’t necessarily miss him. I missed the emotions. All of those stirred up in me caused a lot of stress and my body reacted. I bit my fingernails until they bled and my mouth pain that occurs when I’m super stressed happened. I acted civil when I saw him. A hello. A hug. Chatter about basics like life, apartments, what’s new. Nothing life changing. He wasn’t pleased that I had told people about us, but oh well. I wasn’t pleased about the way he had treated me in the past.

While in Austin, I didn’t go out on any Bumble dates. I did meet some fellas at the bars. I went up the weekend before the retreat and my cousin and I hit up Rainey St. At Lucille’s two guys started talking to us and mine ended up being a 23-year-old punk that just wanted to take advantage of me on his brown leather (quite nice) couch. No thank you, sir. I Lyfted right out of there. Then one of the nights I was out with my team, I met a guy at The Lodge and then ended up hanging out with him and his friends after I lost my coworkers. Another instance where I have to Lyft myself on out. One of the guys got me an Uber and then promptly canceled it the minute I got in it. What a loser. I record this trip in Austin was a completely fail.

There was one guy from the past. We have been friends for 10 years. When we were 19 we used to make out for hours. Cute right? I really enjoyed him carving out some time from his busy schedule to meet up not once but twice with me. He’s super active on the dating apps in Austin so I doubt he would still be single by the time I move to Austin but he is definitely a strong Bachelor contender if I were to ever move there and the timing was right for us, which it never was in the past.

I came back to NYC and promptly left swiped a guy who had all his profile pics of him on a roller coaster. The ups and downs of dating are in full force in NYC and down south. Perhaps one day the South will rise again. In the meantime, I’m playing the game of swipe, swipe, goose back in NYC.