Lines from “He’s Just Not That Into You” couldn’t have been more prevalent in my mind after my date with Mr. 1987. “It was a pleasure to meet you,” he says at the end of what I thought was an incredible date. We had so much in common but enough differences to keep conversation interesting. He was a Republican Catholic (rare find… very rare up here) from New Jersey but looking to move to the Upper East Side in a month. He he is currently working on his Masters (which I feel is a bad time to start dating) and he’s the same age as me (hence the 1987 psuodoname and my current obsession with Taylor Swift’s 1989 album). We met on Coffee Meets Bagel (an app I actually like because you only get one match a day and I believe it is quality over quantity) and actually texted for about two weeks before we met up since we got matched a few days before I left for two weeks in Florida. The two weeks of texting and random chatter to get to know each other those two weeks was great! Not only were his pictures adorable and he was good on paper but the conversation flowed very well. The Sunday before I flew home to NYC we made plans to meet up on Thursday. I didn’t hear from him again until Wednesday night when he confirmed plans. I had a work happy hour planned, which is pretty much just going to a random bar so I suggested starting there and then moving on to our own thing. He was open to it but I later said to nix that since none of my close coworkers were going and I wasn’t in the mood to just hang out with the frat floor of sales guys.

Mr. 1987 suggested we meet at Ilili, which is on W 27th. This place was a great lounge with delicious drinks, of which I only had two. He had to drive once he got back to Jersey so he only had one (another reason why I try to only date in Manhattan – the catching of a bus and then having to drive is not appealing). We spent about two hours together in this lovely lounge, filled with Christmas decorations. He was as adorable as his pics with his blonde hair and blue eyes (so my type!) and suit and tie. He works for the government so definitely a more stringent dress code whereas I showed up in floral leggings and a black sweater with booties. Still cute, nonetheless!

We talked about family, school, dogs, work, etc. I assumed he was a Democrat but I was proven wrong so we got to chat some politics, which I actually enjoy. We discovered we liked the same foods (sushi, spicy), that we both have deceased fathers (a commonality which is very sad to share and we were both very empathetic toward each other) and we both enjoy sports and running. There wasn’t a lull in conversation and there wasn’t any awkward exchanges. The jalepeno hummus he selected may have been too spicy but looking back I now see a lack of spice between the two of us.

He walked me to the subway and we hugged and he said “It was a pleasure to meet you.” Now where did I go wrong? I did leave out one crucial question I did ask him. I don’t see anything wrong with it though, but my friends and family do. Prior to our date, after he agreed to meeting me at my work happy hour, I suggested to keep next Friday open if tomorrow’s date went well and he said “OK deal!” Well, the date was going well so I brought up my work holiday party! My company is extremely chill and fun so I didn’t think this was threatening to ask at all. When I invited him, he said he would let me know in “14 hours.” Not sure what type of answer that is. Just say no, because that type of answer will get you uninvited. Needless to say, I did not hear from him in 14 hours.

Three days later, I’m annoyed. My theory is that if you like someone “so what?!” if they prematurely invite you to a work holiday party after one date? The right guy would’ve appreciated my invite and given me a resounding “yes!” So, I had my friend help me craft a message to him because I felt the need for closure. Here are the exchanges:

Mr. 1987 is just not that into me. Plain and simple. What did I learn most from this? I think it was the fact that I do not like jalepeno hummus. It is just too spicy for my liking.