By now everyone has heard of the term “ghosting.” This is when you have a date that cane range from decent to amazing and then you never hear from the guy again. This trend seems to be becoming more popular and I am definitely experiencing it in full stream in the spirit of Halloween. Of course, it can come from both the male and female side. I’ll be honest, I’ve ghosted a few losers I’ve gone out with. Like the drunk that was wearing a palm tree button up and a pedophile mustache. No. You dear sir, are going to get ghosted. But, when he asked me out on date two I didn’t completely ghost. I actually told him I wasn’t interested and wished him the best. Why can’t all men do this? Just say it. You’re just not that into us. It’ll hurt less than us thinking you died because we had a great time and then I either A. Never hear from you again or B. Communication continues for a brief amount of days and then poof! Ghosts do exist after all. As NYC men.

It doesn’t take a genius to know what happened. You 90% met someone else that you found more interesting or you 9% got scared because of how amazing I am or 1% just weren’t that into me and you did a fantastic job of lying and acting interested on our date.

Let’s take my dates from these past two Friday nights. Friday night is prime real estate in the dating world. Two Fridays ago I went out with Lawyer and this past Friday was Real Estate Guy. Lawyer was tall, distinguished and funny. And yes, by distinguished I mean he did look like he was in his 30s and law school took a toll on him. But, I appreciated this. He didn’t look like a 22-year-old douchebag. He met my coworkers and I at Faces and Names near my office. My coworkers promptly left 15 minutes after he got there and then we had great conversation about work, Chick Fil A and entertainment. I was surprised he hadn’t seen “How to Get Away with Murder.” He’s a criminal defense attorney! We had two drinks as I had plans to meet my friends in Queens. I sent him off to Chick Fil A and I sent myself off to another borough. We had an innocent kiss goodbye and I looked forward to seeing him again. Since, after all, he did say we should hang out again soon.

Well, that was two weeks ago now. There’s been nothing but a drunken exchange of texts on the Saturday after the date and chatter about Chick Fil A the following Saturday. Yes, he has a difficult job, but why are you even on a dating site if you don’t have time to go on a second date? Or, time to talk to someone. Oh yes, because you probably just wanted to hook up and I clearly didn’t fit the bill nor want to fit it.

The next Friday. Real Estate guy. He initially made plans for us to meet at a German Beer Hall in Midtown. I had a Catholic event at Houston Hall and encouraged him to come there. Same scenery right? We met on Bumble as well. All my boys have been buzzing off that app since that’s the only one I have been using. His banter was a little off key and he was definitely beyond sarcastic, but I appreciate that kind of humor and thought I would see how it translated in person.  Once he arrived at Houston Hall, he was the perfect mix of cute and nerdy. Definitely tall and some fun curly hair and freckles. I was diggin’ it like I was diggin’ my dark German beer. (When did I start drinking beer? Who am I?). It was comical when he arrived I was chatting with two guy friends and he felt the need to text me instead of coming up to me. I made it very clear what I was wearing. Hello intimidation. After a drink at this bar I encouraged him and two of my Texas Catholic friends to go to a GRO concert at Highline Ballroom. I’ve been wanting to see them since I knew they were coming to town so we made it a double date essentially. GRO is from Fort Worth, TX and used to play in my sorority chapter room during meetings. Now they are a big deal. Shameless plug on Green River Ordinance. Check them out. The concert was fantastic and Real Estate seemed to be enjoying it even though he initially said it wasn’t his type of music. The rest of the night became a blur. We ended up at Javelina for queso, the last of it for the day, and tequila where my Texas Catholic people started making out. I became jealous. Not because Real Estate didn’t kiss me, he definitely already had, but it made the Texas guy friend of mine seem even more appealing. I’ve been keeping him in the friend zone mostly because he has never asked me out. If he did, I would wholeheartedly say yet. But alas, I digress and that’s another story and there they go making out.

My girlfriend, Karen, shows up and the three of us head to another bar in the East Vilalge.  Drunkenness ensued between all three of us here. Karen is into Jersey Boy and I feel things fading with Real Estate and I, from what I recall. I didn’t mean to get so drunk but Oh! I didn’t eat dinner. Fail. Overall, Real Estate guy was a solid date and we had a lot of fun. He tried to get fresh but I put a halt to that. He is running the marathon this weekend so I knew another drunken night was not in our near future but I figured at least a text was. Nope.

Two strikes on me with these Ghosting Ghouls. Should we believe in love or even just the hope of a second date or even communication after a first date? Why should we put ourselves out there into the dating world? Or, should we just take it all as make believe. After all, no one knows if ghosts really do exist. Maybe dating and finding “the one” doesn’t exist for all of us.