Month: November 2015

No Chemistry with the Chemist

Sometimes I like to venture out of my typical type of man and give others a chance. A few weeks ago I right swiped The Scientist on Tinder and we went out for drinks at Seamstress on a Friday night. He was bald and not really in a line of work I typically am attracted to. He seemed nice though and was 34 so I figured why not. I met my friends for happy hour prior and then strategically placed them at the bar around the corner from Seamstress. I wasn’t too thrilled about this date and now have learned that Fridays are for Friends and not dates.

The Scientist and I had a decent time at Seamstress on the Upper East Side. He was geographically desirable living in the same neighborhood as I so I much appreciated that. When I walked up he looked a little too eager to meet me. Conversation was decent. It included work, politics and his Doctorate in Chemistry. Thank goodness the cocktails were exciting and delicious because this date was not turning out that way. I told my friends I would send them a certain emoji for a great date, mediocre date and bad date. I ended up sending them to the mediocre emoji and said I was on my way. Because I am a nice person I invited The Scientist, in hopes he would politely decline but his eyes lit up all the way to his bald head to have the chance to hang out with my longer.

Typically I share these dates where I get the short stick but sometimes I hand out the short sticky myself. There were just no sparks and he was a super Liberal and seemed judgemental of my Conservative ways. We had met my friends at Iggy’s Karaoke which was a complete 180 from the romantic cocktail bar around the corner. I offered to buy our drinks here and he seemed pleased at this. He took the tab at the cocktail bar but I was a little disappointed he was so willing to let me take the tab here. I was also disappointed that he claimed he would never do karaoke. I decided I needed to get rid of The Scientist so I told him, after a $60 tab on my behalf, that I was tired and going to go home. I hugged my friends and told them I would be right back. The Scientist insisted on walking me the eight blocks home so I let him. Amidst the walk, he asked permission to hold my hand. I barely held it like a clam. I don’t get how this smart man couldn’t tell I was just not that into him. He may have been a chemist, but there was definitely no chemistry. I did a strategic side hug to avoid an awkward attempt to kiss and thanked him again.

Here is where I become the jerk. Once I got upstairs I changed my tall black boots for my Converse chucks and went to meet my friends back out at Brother Jimmy’s. The Scientist texted that he got home safely and had a great time. He said he loved meeting my friends and hinted at doing it again. I sent a vague message back and fortunately never heard from him again and am still living happily ever after with my friends.

The Strikeout

He had on a necklace of beads and I was intrigued and asked what it was. Lo and behold, it was a Rosary. This date was the week I was seeing Pope Francis in Central Park, too! He worked for the MLB and we met at Pazza Notte for two-for-one martinis. He had a deep Long Island accent and definitely looked like a typical Italian from Long Island. But he was sweet and nice and conversation was fantastic. We had texted a lot because he was very busy with baseball season going on so we got the basics out of the way. After two martinis however, this boy was definitely done. I was heading to karaoke with some friends so I had a cut off myself. My subway was right outside the restaurant and he was so awkward when saying bye. Instead of initiating a kiss like he had texted about he went for the “bro handshake” and said bye dude. So odd. He didn’t pitch that line very well.

He texted me how he had a great time. I was hoping we would go out again besides the failed goodbye. However, the next two times we were going to go out he either A. got busy with work or B. wanted me to come over. In regards to A, he told me that he is very busy during the season, which was March to November. So he essentially had three months out of the year where he was available. He told me he doesn’t manage his time very well and he spends sometimes 12 hour days at work. I am a big proponent of a work-life balance. I want to be with someone that definitely has a great job but he knows how to manage his time as well as prioritize his life.  Since once of the dates we had planned was on a weekend I didn’t expect to get the “I’m still stuck at work” excuse. Working weekends, too, is intense! This is what led to option B. Him wanting me to just come over because he was tired after a long day. This happened two to three times. He finally asked me if I had a problem with coming over to his house. Yes, I did. We had been on one date and I know what “coming over to watch a movie entails.” When I told him this he went on about how busy work was and this and that and then finally admitted he didn’t want anything serious, just physical.  First base maybe, a home run? No.

I wished him well and said if he ever wanted to hang out again on less superficial level once worked settled down to reach out and he said he will. He clearly wasn’t ready to take the plate for a relationship, much less dating. Just like baseball season has ended so has any potential with him. He struck out just like the Mets.