Sometimes I like to venture out of my typical type of man and give others a chance. A few weeks ago I right swiped The Scientist on Tinder and we went out for drinks at Seamstress on a Friday night. He was bald and not really in a line of work I typically am attracted to. He seemed nice though and was 34 so I figured why not. I met my friends for happy hour prior and then strategically placed them at the bar around the corner from Seamstress. I wasn’t too thrilled about this date and now have learned that Fridays are for Friends and not dates.

The Scientist and I had a decent time at Seamstress on the Upper East Side. He was geographically desirable living in the same neighborhood as I so I much appreciated that. When I walked up he looked a little too eager to meet me. Conversation was decent. It included work, politics and his Doctorate in Chemistry. Thank goodness the cocktails were exciting and delicious because this date was not turning out that way. I told my friends I would send them a certain emoji for a great date, mediocre date and bad date. I ended up sending them to the mediocre emoji and said I was on my way. Because I am a nice person I invited The Scientist, in hopes he would politely decline but his eyes lit up all the way to his bald head to have the chance to hang out with my longer.

Typically I share these dates where I get the short stick but sometimes I hand out the short sticky myself. There were just no sparks and he was a super Liberal and seemed judgemental of my Conservative ways. We had met my friends at Iggy’s Karaoke which was a complete 180 from the romantic cocktail bar around the corner. I offered to buy our drinks here and he seemed pleased at this. He took the tab at the cocktail bar but I was a little disappointed he was so willing to let me take the tab here. I was also disappointed that he claimed he would never do karaoke. I decided I needed to get rid of The Scientist so I told him, after a $60 tab on my behalf, that I was tired and going to go home. I hugged my friends and told them I would be right back. The Scientist insisted on walking me the eight blocks home so I let him. Amidst the walk, he asked permission to hold my hand. I barely held it like a clam. I don’t get how this smart man couldn’t tell I was just not that into him. He may have been a chemist, but there was definitely no chemistry. I did a strategic side hug to avoid an awkward attempt to kiss and thanked him again.

Here is where I become the jerk. Once I got upstairs I changed my tall black boots for my Converse chucks and went to meet my friends back out at Brother Jimmy’s. The Scientist texted that he got home safely and had a great time. He said he loved meeting my friends and hinted at doing it again. I sent a vague message back and fortunately never heard from him again and am still living happily ever after with my friends.