Month: December 2015

Bicoastal Failure 

9000 miles later I can say that I tried and I learned a lot. LA guy was definitely a top story for me in 2015 and it is time to close that chapter for good. I never had my heart broken so hard and looking back I don’t understand what I even saw in him. I don’t understand why I let him come visit my in NYC as planned in June. The night before he left LA he asked me if I still wanted him to come. Our conversations had diminished and all my friends were telling me to dead the trip but I am not sure why I still have some small sliver of hope for a good time. The trip had some good, mostly bad and a lot of ugly.

The Good:

The night he arrived he was quite drunk. He tried to get me to meet him and a friend he made on the plane out at a bar. I, too, was getting my drink on to prepare for his arrival so I had the liquid courage to say he was coming to visit me so he can come to my place. That night we ended up at a local bar, Trinity Pub. He used to live next door to it with his ex-girlfriend, which is also around the block from my current apartment. I told him how much he hurt me in LA. He started crying and apologizing and saying how I didn’t deserve that and how he actually loved me. I took this all with a grain of salt. He said I wouldn’t have to pay for anything this trip

During his trip we went to the One World Trade Observatory the first day it opened. This was a great experience, that I probably should’ve experienced alone. We also went to the 9-11 Museum. He didn’t want to wait in line so he bought us a membership, which I get to benefit from. This was special to experience together even though I have already done the museum and the top of the Observatory was absolutely fantastic. We didn’t talk much but I enjoyed the company. After all of that we got drinks at a hotel and had good conversation about our jobs and I started talking about other guys.

The Bad: After the 9-11 museum and observatory we went to Le District for lunch. It was a bit pricey and after ordering things he definitely didn’t like and a lot of food waste, we walked around the market. Accidentally, a jar of jam fell from him grabbing another jar. As it landed and red jam went everywhere, even on my shoes, he looked at me and asked “Why did you do that?” There was no joking in his delivery. I tried to save it from its fall but it happened so quickly and it was all an accident.

The last day of his trip we went to Portchester to see two of his friends. I really liked them. We went to Bar Taco and a beer garden. They were very adament about me not paying for anything since I was housing LA Guy. But, he couldn’t of been more a jerk this day. On the train ride there I was simply trying to ask him about his travels, since he has done a lot. He took things too far when grotesquely describing the pigeons by the Louvre. I just didn’t understand why he was speaking this way to me.

The Ugly: 

He was very adament about meeting this friend from the plane so he invited her out to the Rangers playoffs game where we were with my friends. I had no intentions of building a friendship with her but I was civil. The next day he told me how she thought I was a bitch. My good friend Hank also stood up for my when I was ordering beers and shots at the bar. There were two guys talking to me and he asked LA Guy about going over there. LA Guy said I was fine. LA Guy was too busy flirting with 50 year old women. I feel bad my friends had to deal with him. At least Hank had a smoking buddy. That’s right, this guy continued the smoking. I wish I sent him to a hotel.

Sunday morning was one of the ugliest things that ever came out of his mouth. The night he was in tears he expressed he wanted to go to church with me since he knows how important it is to me. I woke him up that morning and asked if he still wanted to go. He said no (surprise surpirse since he had already made the 180 back to being an asshole after 24 hours). So I asked him what he wanted to do and he responded with “kill people.” To that, I decided to play into his crazy talk and ask who he wanted to kill first. The bastard said “baby Jesus.” I immediately told him how offensive that was. Looking back, I wish I kicked him out at that point. I went to church and prayed for him and then we headed to Portchester after I got back from Mass.

The best of all was two mornings in a row when I went to switch out our phones on the charger. He had preview text on and they lit up when I switched the phone. They were texts from a girl in LA saying she loved him and how “if this how forever feels I want it to be with you.” I inquired about him dating someone and he said kinda. I felt so bad for the girl. If I was at the point where I was saying things like that to a guy I would be so hurt to hear he flew across country to spend time with another girl.

He fortunately caught an earlier flight out on his last day. I think we both knew how bad of weekend it was even though he wrote me later that we did all these amazing things and had a great time. When he left I wished him well. I hated that he slept in my bed. Fortunately, nothing sexual happened and yet again, I spent too much money that I didn’t even have. Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me. I was a fool for letting him come after how Los Angeles went when I visited. I was a fool for letting him into my heart. I won’t say I regret it though as I learned a lot and am stronger and smarter from the experience. I know I only deserve the best.

The Boy She Met Online

Of course a majority of the guys I go out with are those from online, but this blog has a special meaning with that title. This guy, Brad, was a little too obsessed with Lifetime Movie Network. After the very nice free building breakfast, I left his place to him watching some twisted Lifetime movie with Alec Baldwin where he is was sleeping with his step daughter. Surprisingly, that wasn’t the last time I saw him. He came out to my after church social where he proceeded to tell me the story of an ex-girlfriend that sounded like a script for a new Lifetime movie where she goes psycho and he sticks around longer than he should.

But, we still talk. He is smart, accomplished, funny and we shared a sad story of lost family members and tattoos memorializing them. He is a lawyer in his mid 30s and has ran more than 40 marathons. He is definitely impressive on paper but I don’t know if that translates into chemistry in person. When we’re together it almost feels like friends. All we’ve done is cuddle and when he cuddles, I am treated like a body pillow. I much prefer to not have someone practically laying on top of me, even though he definitely weighs less than I do.

The first time we met was at Hill Country BBQ. He lived just a few blocks so he came and met my friends and I. We were there for karaoke and it was so sweet how he asked me what I wanted to drink before even meeting me. He showed up with my margarita on the rocks with salt just in time for my friends and I to get up and sing some Dixie Chicks. Great timing, Brad. All my friends really liked him and we parted ways that night as I went home with my best guy friend, James, who I think he was crushing on as well!

The second time we met was happy hour with my coworkers. Cleary I am starting a trend of having him meet all my friends, coworkers and church friends off the bat. We were at Barcelona Bar for a bit with my coworkers before heading to Alfies with my church friend, Ann. She ended up heading to a party and then him and I finally had some time to chat just us. Conversation was fantastic except for the what could also be a Lifetime story about some sublet he had from a guy that lit candles for him. He was witty and funny and three hours into talking I realized I left my work bag with my computer at Barcelona. I never saw anyone get a check so fast. Fortunately he was a marathoner, so we got back to the bar quickly and praise the Lord Barcelona had my bag in the back room. I bought us Republicans as Barack O-Bomber shot – red bull and vodka – to celebrate.

I didn’t see him again until I went over to his place after a drunken night out (where nothing happened) and then after the church event. I’m not completely writing him off. We still chat and he probably doesn’t write me much because he says he knows everything about my from my SnapChat. Yes, I have a snap problem but oh well. I’m hoping we meet again and our story takes more of a Nicholas Sparks turn instead of ending up on Lifetime even though he would still be a boy I met online.

I Need a MANhattan

The week before Thanksgiving I had a marathon of dates with JC. Four dates in one week, which is aggressive. Again, I was stepping out of my typical type and going for the more intelligent looking type of guy than the sporty all-American. He was very responsive with texts and I enjoyed his initiation of the game of “20 questions” which most likely turned into 200 questions via text and in person. Dates one and two were impressive and I was really into the guy. He was somewhat tall, glasses and endearing. Date one he “picked me up” from church and we went for dinner at Sushi of Gari. I learned of this place from LA Guy and was excited to check it out. We didn’t do the $120 Omikase but we did do three delicious rolls and a bottle of wine. Conversation was flowing along with the wine and I really appreciated how he treked from Jersey City to the Upper East Side to take me out.Little did I know that he was a super trekkie. We got some dessert wine at Pil Pil after dinner and then he walked me home. After some rooftop making out he went back to Dirty Jersey. He didn’t let me pay and was very kind. I honestly would peg this as one of the best first dates I even had.

Tuesday we walked around Bryant Park and went to dinner at a pub in the God-awful Times Square area. It was nice having someone else making the decisions, even though I would never decide to go to Times Square. He initially wanted to go to the top of the Empire State Building but I quickly vetoed that. However, while walking around Bryant Park, which was plan B, I noticed the Empire was purple. I was on a roll with my jokes this night, which he referred to as “dad jokes” and commented on how he ordered the Empire to be purple for me. My favorite color. Instead of ice skating, I opted to sit on a swing at the Southwest Porch and drink a beer. Ice skating is not my forte. Drinking however, is. We enjoyed the beers and an occasional brief makeout session until I was turned off when someone told us to get a room. Sorry, you’re just jealous but I really am not the biggest proponent of PDA anyway. The night ended in Grand Central as he headed back to Dirty Jerz and I stayed on my island of Manhattan.

So far all seems so well right? Wrong. Date number three was on a Friday. Jersey City. I am already bummed I am missing a night out with my friends as they are going to a piano bar and I’ve agreed to go to Jersey. Then my sorority sister invited me to a VIP Chase Rice concert. All the signs are pointing to “don’t go to Jersey.” However, I went and immediately when I got off the PATH in Jersey City I break out into hives on my chest. Obviously, we all know you can’t be allergic to a city but you sure can be allergic to dating apparently. I’ve already decided that I don’t want to date someone in Jersey. The commute was a bitch even though Jersey City was cute and reminded me of Astoria. No. Just no.

I walked to his place with my bottle of wine (he has yet to let me pay for anything so I brought wine. No questions asked!). His place was huge and mostly clean. Obviously, less money for more space in New Jersey. Little did I know that all his artwork was of nebulas and galaxies and his necklace that I thought was a crucifix (he said he was a Catholic!) was actually of a Hydrogen atom. This was a little much for me. I like smart nerdy but not nerdy nerdy and I soon discovered we had little in common. Dinner was at another sushi place, in Hoboken, and then we went to a German Beer Hall back in Jersey City. In the Uber to the beer hall I was so excited that thee of my favorite Justin Bieber songs were on. I was jammin’ to them with the Uber driver and JC could’ve been less interested. I think this was the moment he realized we didn’t have much in common. Back at his place we watched Love Actually and fell asleep. There was definitely no sexual chemistry and I didn’t let anything beyond kissing happen. Things just weren’t the same after date three like they were in date one and two. I also felt like maybe was trying to push things too fast. I’m like a snail with dating. I take my time and if you rush into it with me, I’ll crack.

Now it is Saturday and he dropped me off at my Ginger friend’s place in Secaucus and we already planned on him coming to the TCU Football watch party that night. I was kind of excited that he decided not to come but for some reason I suggested a Sunday brunch instead, since we both have raved about brunches. His trekkie self treked back to the Upper East  Side for us to get brunch. The bottomless mimosas were ideal. The conversation was not. He had forgotton things we had talked about and I found myself repeating often. He forgot he met my Ginger friend when I mentioned her name and what’s worse, forgot about the fact that I told him on date number three that my Dad had died. We were discussing Google results and he looked up my name. He said “why does this obituary pop up?” In a snarky tone I said how that was my dad. The Google search discussion ended there and that’s when I should’ve walked out to end the date.

It continued though with Starbucks and a walk through Central Park to Columbus Circle. The leaves were beautiful, but the pressured hand holding and make out stops turned me off. I just wanted to hold my hot dirty chai latte. We sat on a bench for a little while that I like to visit during lunch. He really wanted me to come back to Jersey City with him because he wanted to “do things” to me that were inappropriate in the park. Yeah, no. I’m so thankful I never slept with him. We bid adieu and I walked back home. I knew that would be the last time I would see him and that next night after he sent me some odd texts I told him that I had a great week but don’t see things progressing further. I was so relieved when his response was “I agree. Nice knowing you though.”

He ended up reaching out to me twice after this. One to wish me a Happy Thanksgiving and two to inquire about a job at Indeed. I forwarded his resume but don’t foresee that coming to fruition  based off his work history. JC was a nice guy with a big family. One of nine kids, worked in IT at a well-known company and was very kind. He just isn’t the boy for me and I hope he finds a girl that is more into Star Wars than Justin Bieber. As for me, someone please order up a Manhattan. I’m sticking to my island where I can’t see the stars or galaxies.