I decided to give up alcohol not only for Lent but in preparation of the NYC Half Marathon which conveniently was the week before Easter. My birthday also fell on Mardi Gras so all the signs were pointing to “stop drinking.” Focus on your health, your race and relationship with God. I decided to journal each day. I’m not an alcoholic by any means but life in NYC truly does revolve around alcohol in its social functions. I’m happy to say I was able to go out, be social and have tons of fun without alcohol. I also learned lessons from when I do drink. I also lost a few pounds.

Lent: 2/10-3/27
Number of days sober: 40

Number of cheat/drunk days: 6

Day 1: Extremely hung over from my birthday yesterday. Excessive drinking made me feel bad physically and emotionally. My mom thought I was kidding when I said I was giving up alcohol for Lent. I’m offended and makes me want to follow through even more!

Day 2: I was supposed to go to a Valentine’s weekend social tonight. I was really looking forward to it but don’t feel well. No 4.5 mile run either. Still recovering from the weekend and definitely don’t miss alcohol. I wouldn’t have been tempted to drink tonight anyway but missing out on the exercise and friends!

Day 3: I’m sick so I don’t want to drink anyway. However going to a place with chicken in the title and not being able to eat the meat (it’s Friday) as well as not drink the soju takes incredible self control. 37 days to go. PS – spent the same amount as everyone else because seafood ramen is pricy. And why do sodas cost $4? I can buy a liter!

Day 4: No hangover and feeling better! So far this is a winning situation. Went to brunch where only 4/7 were drinking bottomless mimosas. I had no problem being part of the tea and coffee crew! My friend invited me to a bar tonight but it is definitely one of those bars you have to drink at. I love her and want to go but I think I’ll enjoy my Soul Cycle class and salad instead. Seven mile run tomorrow!

Day 5: Loved waking up before my alarm and had a fantastic 7 mile run followed by brunch with friends. I was my typical goofy self with my tea and Diet Coke while they enjoyed the mimosas and sangria. 

Day 6-9: Waking up before alarms and usually never drank much during the week anyway. All about the work outs! Day 9 I went on my first date during this time. I was clear from the beginning that I wasn’t drinking but we had a good dinner anyway. 

Day 10: It’s Friday. I really want to have a drink. This sucks. My team is all drinking for a coworkers birthday and I’m going to a BYOB sushi spot for dinner. Bring on the diet cokes and tea … 

Day 11: Greetings from TX! I’ve gone back and forth with myself about “cheating” while on vacation. On one hand my sister said “what if Jesus decided to have a margarita instead of dying for your sins?” On the other hand, there’s nothing wrong with drinking in moderation and I’m not necessarily sinning. I have 8 miles to run in the AM so I’m not going to binge the night away.

Day 12: Ran the 8 miles. More tired than hungover. Made stupid decisions last night and made out with a 23 year old. Damn booze. Had a Bloody Mary at brunch and Mexican Martini with dinner. Happy Sunday.

Day 13: Happy National Margarita Day! I had a bunch.

Day 14: Woke up and ran 5k. Didn’t feel as good as normal thanks to the margs from last night. Drank a lot at the work reception and then out after. I got to a point where I thought “wow, I’m drunk” and grabbed my teammates and Lyfted it back to the hotel. I made an effort to see someone I shouldn’t have. Luckily, and per usual, he was unresponsive. 

Day 15: Super tired and hungover. Drank again tonight and made stupid decisions again and drank too much. Ended up losing my coworkers and hanging out with some weird Austin people. I didn’t make it home until 5 a.m. Fail. 

Day 16: #HasNewLent is over and I’m happy about it. 

Day 17: Detoxed with a juice cleanse. Best decision ever made. Had some friends over for a night of TV. I had no interest in their beer they brought.

Day 18: Finally feeling more like myself! Did spin and dinner. Milkshakes > Beer with a burger.

Day 19-22: Working out a ton. Not missing the booze. But then again, it’s not the weekend yet. 

Day 23: Went to two happy hours and happily enjoyed ginger ale and a virgin tropical drink!

Day 24: Met some friends at a bar and enjoyed the social scene sans cocktails. Love the saving of the money in this! Afterward I met up with a Bumble Boy. I had a ginger ale while he pounded back the whiskey. We definitely weren’t a match but hey, at least I was a cheap date! 

Day 25: No hangover and morning Soul Cycle for the win! Brunch included a delicious cucumber ginger soda. That night I went with all my TX friends to dinner (Tex-Mex!) and Pat Green/Randy Rodgers concert. I will say I really wanted to dive into the $5 margaritas and $7 shiners. Also, it was interesting wearing sober glasses as the night got longer and people got drunker and seeing how dumb and sloppy people are.

Day 26: The reception after the TCU Recital at Carnegie Hall was very nice. Complete with hor d’oeuvres and an open bar. Keep the crab cakes and creme brûlée coming. I’ll stick to Diet Coke.

Day 27-28: Fitness is in high gear this week as the half marathon is now less than two weeks away. Woke up at 5:40am for a 6am Soul Cycle class. I feel on top of the world on a Tuesday!

Day 29-31: Skipped some events such as the after young adult Mass social that I typically would go to. I wasn’t in the mood to be social and didn’t want to be around alcohol. 

Day 32: After a day of skiing I decided to somehow allow myself to let Daylight Savings count as a means to cheat. I had 4-5 drinks. And ruined something that could’ve been special with a guy who I had been chatting with on Bumble. We didn’t have sex but we didn’t meet under the right pretenses. My word for the situation: angry. His: awkward. 

Day 33: Blatantly and obviously punished for having consumed alcohol. Hungover and depressed. Sure last night was fun at times but I really do get depressed after drinking and have physical and emotional reactions. Not sure why I did it and disappointed in myself. I forced myself to go to church and the Gospel was fitting. John 8. Read it if you don’t know it. “From now on…”

Day 34-36: The Half Marathon is this coming Sunday so the last thing I want to do to my body is put alcohol in it. I even had a date this Wednesday at a place that has delicious sangria. The date was *** sans the sangria. 

Day 37: Happy St. Patrick’s Day! A day known for high consumption of alcohol and debauchery. I remember a St. Patrick’s Day in Tampa, years ago, where a friend and I had a kissing contest. No idea how many guys (or girls even) I kissed for that matter. The only thing I’m kissing this St. Patrick’s Day are my shins in hopes that this short test run goes well.

Day 38: Went to a bar for my friend’s birthday. It was centered around basketball which made me really want a beer but nah. I have 13.1 miles to look forward to! I did leave earlier than I normally would and a night well rested was more appealing than a night out galavanting. 

Day 39: It’s the day before my half marathon! I relaxed all day and ate all the carbs! I did go to a bar for my friend’s birthday but was home in bed by 930a. It was glorious. 

Day 40: It’s Half Marathon day! The reason for the months of training and a big reason I gave up alcohol is finally here. I met my goal (if you exclude my bathroom break) and I felt amazing before, during and after! I allowed myself some celebratory margaritas and celebratory bar hopping with fellow racers. Nothing wrong with in moderation and I definitely burned enough calories! Plus, I made it to church just in time for Palm Sunday! 

Day 41: Wow my body hurts from the run but I feel amazing. I met my friend for dinner at a place where I usually consume at least four martinis. Not today! All H2O please.

Day 42: All these cancelations and delays for my flight to FL really make me want to have a beer at the airport as I wait for three hours but I’ll pass. It’s Holy Week and I’m going to have the main intent for the no drinking be for Lent now. 

Day 43-44: Enjoyed some lovely time with my mom while being at home. Meeting up with friends who have cut alcohol out of their diet as well makes things easy! I did go to a steak dinner on Holy Thursday. My glass of red wine was to be representative on The Last Supper and to just enjoy with my steak. No drunkeness or gluttony.

Day 45: Sister Date Days used to include a lot of alcohol. Not today! It’s also Good Friday so we enjoyed skipping a meal and then enjoy sushi for dinner. No wine.

Day 46: Oxford Exchange had so many yummy teas to choose from I didn’t even think about a Bloody Mary for brunch. I did enjoy a happy hour sangria with my dinner but just one. It reminded me of a former roommate of mine. He said he would never just have one drink. That it is pointless to have one if you don’t keep going. He was mostly an idiot but this statement makes sense. Why waste the money and empty calories for one drink?

Lessons

1. 0-2 drinks when going on a date or planning to meet a guy

2. Day drinking > night drinking 

3. Turn phone off or give to a friend when out drinking

4. Reserve nights out binging to be with close, accountable friends

5. The feeling after a run, work out or Soul Cycle class is far greater than that of a night drinking. It’s especially better than the hangover that will come the next day putting one out of commission for the whole day and possibly the next 

6. I didn’t really save a lot of money because I used those funds I would’ve spent on a night out on Soul Cycle

7. Drinking and working out in the same day or next morning is like oil and water. It just doesn’t go together. Be kind to your body. 

Lessons learned here and moving forward I’ll only allow drinking 0-2 days per week and continue encouraging sober date ideas. That way, I can get to know the guy better and see his creativity. Alcohol can be fun when used wisely and in moderation. After seeing how crowds got after a few drinks while being out made me never want to enter that drunk state of mind again. I hope this journaling is inspirational and can help others realize the benefits of not drinking and to be smarter if they do choose to consume alcohol. Cheers to this experience being worthwhile and something I want to continue to further better myself! 

Guilty of Ghosting! And also Marco Rubio dropping out of the Republican Presidential win. I don’t know which is worse; Rubio dropping out or this date I went on with someone who was lactose intolerant to Javelina for queso a few months back. Delayed entry, I know.

Mike was from Bumble (aren’t they all?) and fortunately for him Javelina offered him tequila tasting while I enjoyed my queso. And lots of it. I’ll admit. I wasn’t really attracted to the guy but his smile on his profile drew me in and I wanted to learn more. To counteract this I made sure that we went to a place I would absolutely love so if the date went bad, at least I knew I would have good queso and margaritas.

The date ended up being full of laughs, bad “dad jokes” (didn’t realize that was a term for what I think is hysterical clean jokes) discussion of his poor work-life balance (he even said he doesn’t manage his time right) and also about his lack of Christmas Cheer. His family doesn’t have the same traditions as me or even celebrate Christmas for that matter. Poor kid didn’t grow up with gifts and he saves a lot of money not having to buy for his parents or siblings. From this I learned that I want someone that

From this date I learned that I want someone that had a solid work-life balance and has similar family traditions and values. He had a dinner to attend so he left me at Javelina and one of my favorite Texan girls replaced him promptly. I’m 99% sure he had dinner plans with another girl. We talked about going out again and both agreed to it. We made tentative plans for the next week and he ended up having to cancel because he got stuck at work (surprise surprise). I never heard from him again until he texted me a few weeks later about how he was sorry he fell off the face of the earth and should be above water now. I just didn’t reply. I just thought of writing this because I just deleted his texting chain when I was clearing out my phone on the plane. Whether he was ghosting or truly busy at work, I have time for neither. Now, the bigger question is what Republican to support now until the Independent parties surface?

I think winter has come to an end here in NYC. But during the cold times we have had, as I walk home all bundled up with my numb face, I see so many couples. They all seem like lucky little squirrels that found their nuts for the winter. I was chatting with my best guy friend and we were both hoping to have boyfriends by the winter. If anything, just have that body warmth to cuddle with in the sub-zero temperatures. Now we’re looking to find guys before the summer!

I think back to when I lived in the South. Was dating easier there or is it just so different in NYC that I can’t even compare? I wonder if I had stayed in TX or FL where my life would be sometimes. Had I stayed in TX I wouldn’t be surprised if I would be married, and possibly, bite my tongue, kids. But, I would never have lived my life for me. I wouldn’t have explored my dream to live in NYC. I saw “How to be Single” over Valentine’s weekend and I am definitely doing it right. Living the single life right that is. Like in the end, one day you turn around and it’s done. When will it be done for me? I feel like I am putting myself out there and I definitely don’t have desperation slapped across my forehead because I am completely content being single. I feel ready though. Ready to share my life with someone and learn and grow together.

While I was home in Florida for Christmas I decided to not cut off dating completely. I buzzed around Bumble to see what types of guys FL Bumble had to offer. At first I had no matches, which I found bizarre. Then I realized my mileage was set to 1-2 miles. Perfect for NYC to remove the Jersey Boys and Lawng Islanders but definitely not reasonable in Florida, and almost too creepy close. After expanding the 30 miles the swipes started coming in. See below for some entertaining ones. Pick up lines courtesy of my niece on Christmas Eve.

Reply with only Bieber lyrics

Be timely

Be cheesy

How come this never transpired? Who knows him? haha

Not only did I buzz around Bumble but I also went on two dates.

Date number one was at Kona Grill. It probably wasn’t a date but any context in where there is a guy, a girl, conversation and he pays can technically be considered one. It was a post work meet up for happy hour drinks and sushi. I couldn’t have as many mojitos as I would’ve liked because I had to drive home. This is definitely a pro and con of the south. Pro: You have to drive so you can’t consume that much alcohol. This prevents stupid decisions. Con: You have to drive so you can’t consume that much alcohol. This limits your intake of alcohol that you might want to consume. Especially, when prices are happy during happy hour. I can’t recall much of the conversation and he gathered the bill while I used the restroom. I thought we would meet up another time while I was there but I think I decided that if I did live in Florida, this Tampa man would just be a friend. He didn’t seem to have the ability to let loose and made himself out to be “too adult” to have fun.

Date number two was with someone I was supposed to go on a blind date with about five years ago. We finally made the date happen. Again, not sure if it was a “date” per se but it was a guy, a girl, conversation and him paying for the bill. He has a fantastic job these days and a fantastic personality. We had a great dinner on the water at Island Way Grill and then went and watched the TCU bowl game. Two of my favorite things: waterfront views and football. I ended up creating him a profile on Bumble. Once this is was done I completely lost him in all the swipes, rightfully so. He needs someone that lives in Tampa area. As much as he and my family want me to move back, I probably won’t. But, if I did live in Tampa, this would be a strong Bachelor contender.

At the end of February, my company sent my team on a retreat to Austin, TX. I was so excited to go back to Texas! First off, to end last entry’s story of “Texas our Texass.” Never saw him. He completely ignored my texts and I drunkenly told him how bad he is at communication. To resurrect another story – LA Guy was there. It really did bring back all the emotions I felt when we first met. I didn’t necessarily miss him. I missed the emotions. All of those stirred up in me caused a lot of stress and my body reacted. I bit my fingernails until they bled and my mouth pain that occurs when I’m super stressed happened. I acted civil when I saw him. A hello. A hug. Chatter about basics like life, apartments, what’s new. Nothing life changing. He wasn’t pleased that I had told people about us, but oh well. I wasn’t pleased about the way he had treated me in the past.

While in Austin, I didn’t go out on any Bumble dates. I did meet some fellas at the bars. I went up the weekend before the retreat and my cousin and I hit up Rainey St. At Lucille’s two guys started talking to us and mine ended up being a 23-year-old punk that just wanted to take advantage of me on his brown leather (quite nice) couch. No thank you, sir. I Lyfted right out of there. Then one of the nights I was out with my team, I met a guy at The Lodge and then ended up hanging out with him and his friends after I lost my coworkers. Another instance where I have to Lyft myself on out. One of the guys got me an Uber and then promptly canceled it the minute I got in it. What a loser. I record this trip in Austin was a completely fail.

There was one guy from the past. We have been friends for 10 years. When we were 19 we used to make out for hours. Cute right? I really enjoyed him carving out some time from his busy schedule to meet up not once but twice with me. He’s super active on the dating apps in Austin so I doubt he would still be single by the time I move to Austin but he is definitely a strong Bachelor contender if I were to ever move there and the timing was right for us, which it never was in the past.

I came back to NYC and promptly left swiped a guy who had all his profile pics of him on a roller coaster. The ups and downs of dating are in full force in NYC and down south. Perhaps one day the South will rise again. In the meantime, I’m playing the game of swipe, swipe, goose back in NYC.