They always say opposites attract don’t they? But who are “they?” Are they people who have had a significant other like sweet when they like sour candy? Or are they people whose significant other likes heavy metal when they like Justin Beiber? Or are they actually people who have had a significant other significantly differ from you where the solve isn’t just buying two bags of candy? 
Besides the one I’m currently in, I’ve only been in one relationship that has lasted longer than six months. I see similarities in these two guys. Not yet the similarities that are warning signs (that mean I should exit stage left) but personality wise. My friends will tell you I’m one of the most social, extroverted person they know. Even people that have known me for five minutes can already tell I’m a lot of personality with a thick schedule. So why have both of my relationships been with the most introverted type of guy? Is it really that opposites attract? Do I need their calmness? It’s hard to think that I would be with someone that wants alone time when I’m constantly wanting to be included and surrounded by people. Maybe I need to learn how to be alone with myself and they help me realize that. 

Looking back on my almost two-year relationship with CJ during Junior and Senior year of college, I wish I ended it six months before he did. I don’t understand why I was so devastated when he broke up with me. But then again, I was 22 and knew nothing of what this great big world had in store for me. He would tell me I wouldn’t make it in NYC. That it was too big and scary. He found the smallest ways to put me down that last year when all I needed was someone to build me up. Well look at me now, buddy. I don’t regret our relationship. We made a lot of special memories and I’m sure we shaped each other into the people we are today. I only wish him the best.

CJ had some of the same qualities as Mister Man. Both are not big drinkers, have their passion sport, could become internally focused and not into social media. None of these were the red flags for CJ. I know what to look out for with Mister Man and when I see one waving, I can have the conversation on the spot and healthily talk it out, see if it is worthwhile and move on. We just have to make sure we are on the same page. Even though some pages in our books are quite different.

I like hanging out with big groups of people. He doesn’t.

I can overindulge in alcohol. He doesn’t. (This is something I have realized I appreciate and value in a partner as opposed to some of the clowns I’ve dated).

I’ll pick going out to eat and he will prefer to cook at home. (Another preference I am learning to appreciate. Not only is it cheaper but it is healthier. And he is a damn good cook so I’ll go to his kitchen any time.)

I take all the pictures. He takes none and for pictures of us it is one and done.

I tell the whole world about us. (Example A: this blog). Not even his family knows about me. 

I have picture of us on my desk at work. He has a cactus. And no pictures up of any personal kind in his house either. 

I’ll show friends his cute texts to make them jealous or share conversations to get advice. I don’t think he has shared one screen shot of anything between us. 

I want to be included in everything. He wants to be alone.

I have $0 savings and he is financially responsible.

I’ve never been cheated on. He has. And it has damaged him. I hate her for what she did to him. 

I rarely make my bed. He always makes his. But trust me, I made his when I’m over.

I’m ready to take him home for Christmas. The feeling is not mutual on his end.

I hear songs and think of a memory or someone. He hears songs for the sound and rhythms.

I want him to meet and get to know my friends. He’d rather not. In our six months together he has done one event with my friends and I could tell it was torture for him.

I’m allergic to cats. He has a cat. I’m surprisingly still alive and must’ve built up a magical immunity to his cat.

I run at a pace of 9:14. He runs at a pace of 7:37. This is where I get to slow his roll. 

I went on a work trip and brought back a coffee mug. He went to visit his home country and brought back a mug for me. Oh wait. That’s the something in common. Something cute.

Despite all these differences he makes me a better, well-rounded person and I hope I do him as well. We all need to step outside of our comfort zone. Sometimes I do need to tone it down. I don’t need to post every picture and use 12 different hashtags. No one cares what bars I checked in at and who I was with. Maybe I don’t need to binge drink and eat every weekend spending hundreds of dollars of my hard earned money. I have just as good a weekend, if not better, spent in his CT apartment where we sometimes do absolutely nothing but Netflix and Chill. I don’t wake up with a hangover or trying to remember what happened the night before. I don’t look at my bank account and regret buying rounds of shots or look at my phone and regret some texts and calls that occurred. I wake up refreshed and next to one damn special, handsome guy. And I wouldn’t trade that for any other kind of weekend.