Texas our Texass

Matt and I got matched on Bumble while he was in NYC for work. He was visiting from Austin. I instantly swiped right because he had a picture sitting on a Longhorn with Longhorn attire. I love finding the rare Texan in NYC but of course he was just visiting for work. I have my long term career goals set on Austin so I figured the conversation could continue. He was here the weekend of Winter Storm Jonas so our conversation started out with talk about the snow of course. He is from Chicago so this was nothing new for him and I really enjoyed our chat while I binged seven episodes of “Making a Murderer” while the blizzard came down.

We made plans to meet on Thursday before he headed back to Austin. I had him come meet my coworkers and I after our happy hour at Barcelona Bar. This is a go-to for us and I’ve brought plenty of dates around my coworkers so this was nothing new to them. I’m sure he wasn’t expecting to be spending some of the evening with ten lovely ladies and only one other guy though! Sorry, Matt. It was still a fun time. We was very social, very cute and we continued the night on our own accord.  We went to Valhalla, Alfies and Supply House for a drink at each location. Thirsty Thursday for sure. He had the best smile, the best eyes and we had the best conversations. I’m conveniently going to Austin in a few weeks for a work retreat and we made plans to meet up at this time. We’re going to go to dinner and out with my Sweets and her boyfriend. #doubledate. We joked about him playing my boyfriend that week as well.

He stayed over that night and yes, another on of those that tried to take things too far but at least retracted on my first “no.” He had to catch an 8 a.m. flight so left around 4 a.m. He woke me up and kissed me goodbye. He sent me cute texts about how excited he was to see me again in a few weeks when he got to the airport. From here I had thoughts of us having FaceTime dates and continuing all our great conversations but that never really transpired and it has been about two weeks now. I got the opinion from some of my coworkers the following day, which had me hungover AF, and most really liked him but one said he was smart but didn’t seem my type. That part I should’ve dug more into the why but didn’t. I thought he was perfect. He is from Chicago, lives in Texas and walked in wearing a Shiner, TX hat.

Hopefully, this story has a part two after this coming weekend in Austin. The communication hasn’t been as expected. I actually only ended up hearing from him on my birthday and I think he was quite drunk as he sent me a picture of his ass. #backthatassup. If this weekend doesn’t happen, it’s never a waste of time or laughs when spent with a Texan with a great ass! Here’s hoping for a Part II. I’ll reach out tomorrow when I take off for my flight to Austin, TX!

 

Beads of Green, Eyes of Blue, Happy Birthday to You!

I go to church every Sunday. I go for many reasons besides looking to meet a guy. But, that’s definitely not off the radar. I had my birthday this past week (29!) and part of my celebrations included celebrating my actual birthday on Mardi Gras at Bourbon St. in Times Square. A bunch of my friends came out and a bunch of people from church happened to be there as well for their own planned event.

Closer to the end of the night I met Brad. Brad was super cute, in kind of a hipster way. I loved his glasses and his blue eyes. I was instantly attracted and he was friends with some friends of mine so conversation came easily. I just loved the way he looked into my eyes and then kissed me at the piano bar, Don’t Tell Mama. I was almost mesmerized and the attention on my birthday was definitely welcomed.

We ended up going to another bar by my place, The Penrose. He seemed just perfect that night and who doesn’t want a little birthday make out/cuddle session? Clearly I’ve become prude in a good way because I am waiting to sleep with someone ever again until I am in a committed relationship with them. In the theme of most men, Brad tried to take this too far that night as well. Perhaps he thought my birthday wish list included birthday sex. Actually, no. We spent the next morning making out for a bit and he trekked the 18 blocks north home and I went back to bed and woke up at 3 p.m.

As some may know, Mardi Gras is the day before Ash Wednesday. Ash Wednesday begins penance and most Catholics do service or sacrifice. Since my birthday was on Mardi Gras and my NYC Half Marathon is a week before Easter I took this as a serious sign from God to legitimately give up the alcohol. When I woke up Wednesday at 3 p.m. I could never have been happier with my decision to give up alcohol. Not only did I feel like complete and utter shit from being hungover but I was mad that I let Brad come over because he was handsome, Catholic, funny and even though he didn’t have a job he had potential. There will probably be no future contact with Brad unless we meet again at another Catholic event. We did exchange business cards and are Facebook friends so if he wants to reach me he can. In the meantime, my bedroom floor is still full of Mardi Gras beads and those should probably be picked up before I step on them in the middle of the night!

The Non-Belieber

After a delicious restaurant week dinner with my best guy-friend at Ken and Cook early this February, I decided the rainy night wasn’t ready to end. I had been chatting with this cute guy, John, on Bumble and we decided to meet. Conveniently for him, we met a block from his apartment in Gramercy. We went to Gramercy Park Bar, where I entered to my favorite Justin Bieber song playing “Sorry”, and we proceeded to have a beverage and a side of great conversation and what I thought was great chemistry. I definitely wasn’t sorry I showed up to this date! We had a great time people watching as the clowns were out this night.

We had such buzzin’ conversation on Bumble as well as in person so the night wasn’t still meant to end again quite yet. He decided we would go to this speakeasy type bar around the corner. On the walk over we passed his building and he suggested going up there for a drink. I definitely declined and we continued on to this supposed speakeasy. Speakeasy it was as we entered through a pizza place, sans the pizza, but, fun, it was not. There were like 10 people there and they had a table with Grey Goose. The place was super loud, clubby and definitely not a place I would go to again. We sat in the corner and continued the activity of people watching. We got into some more conversation, some of it too deep for a first date, such as religion. I’ve learned to save that until at least the second or third date and let it be something they inquire. Yes, I am religious and I make it a part of my life because I get to spend time with my Dad by going to Mass, as that was something my Dad and I always did together. I also have a lot of friendships from church as well as being involved as well. However, I don’t judge other’s by their religion has long as 1. They’re not judgmental and 2. They believe in something. From here he told me he was Jewish so I was thinking, cool. Then he told me he actually didn’t believe in anything and was Atheist. He proceeded to tell me about his ex that he referred to as a Jewish American Princess and even though he is Atheist his family would like him with a Jew. And, she really wanted to get married but he didn’t. So, John, what are you doing with me? Oh yes, just trying to hook up. He did try and get me to his apartment after knowing me thirty minutes. I love myself a little more than to be that sleazy.

Another fantastic Justin Bieber song came on at this Pizza Speakeasy and he noted that he didn’t care for him or his music. No religion. No faith and not even a Belieber! This is where I drew the line. We finished our drinks and I ordered a Gett (the cheaper version of Uber in NYC). While we waited he apologized about how terrible that bar was and then proceeded to kiss me to “make up” for it. I have never been so bored and disinterested in a kiss. Thank God my Gett arrived and proceeded on home with my dignity and faith in Jesus and Justin.

Mouth to Mouth

It’s that time of year in NYC that I wear two pairs of pants because it is so damn cold. What better way to warm up than by going to Fireman Singles Mixer with one of your favorite girlfriends?

Pick Up Lines:

  • You took my breath away and need to give me mouth to mouth!
  • I think I have a fire down below that you need to put out.
  • You’re a ladder I would like to climb!
  • Let’s see your hose!
  • Let’s stop drop and roll on out of here!

I made the fellas laugh with these cheesy (and definitely just kidding) lines at this cheesy event a few weeks ago! This was an official “Single and the City” party and I thought it was cute how they gave a card full of fireman related questions as ice breakers. They also gave a red dot to put on who we found the hottest. This event occurred at the ever romantic Saloon on the Upper East Side and women had to pay to get in and firemen EMT got in for free. And only men who were firemen EMT were allowed in. The setting was lit from there! My first official singles event:

dps pic

My girlfriend and I started out a little shy but then finally started talking to two firemen. We got them to ask some questions and one of them knew the TCU Horned Frog sign and he was quite attractive so I prematurely gave out my red dot. We moved on to some other groups of firemen, completed our cards and drinks and then circled back to two that we previously chatted with. They were Paul and John. They were both from Queens and had serious New York accents. Paul was super cute and we were instantly attracted. We spent the night dancing. And not just grind up on me dancing but fun dancing like the Q-tip, lawn-mower and grocery shopping moves. Very Albert Brennaman style.

Now, I hold firemen to a high standard. My brother-in-law is one and I have the utmost respect for him and, therefore, his fellow first responders. I especially hold the FDNY with the utmost respect so I was really looking forward to this event to meet what I thought would be high caliber men. Well, after a night of drinks, dancing and making out I decided to take Fireman Paul home, which I told him would be just to cuddle. There would be not funny business so as not to disappoint him when we got back. We had quite a few vodka sodas and bud lights and it wasn’t too late, not even midnight. Plus, he lived in Bayside and I figured I would save him a night ride home. Long story short, he definitely tried to take things too far, I didn’t put out and we never ended up going out again. My friend later told me that guys just go to these things to hook up. Makes sense. Florida firemen are therefore greater than the FDNY in my book now. Fireman Paul’s lost! That’s one fire that was easy to put out.

 

 

Fault in Our Lone Stars

August 2015

I am beyond exhausted today, but it was well worth it. Staying up until 5:30 a.m. on your NYC rooftop talking to a high caliber man is everything romantic and fleeting at once. Especially when you can see the stars through the city lights.

I met Jazzy Jay at a Texas football event this past weekend where we spent five hours with an open bar and all things tasty and country to kickoff the football season. My Texas partner in crime was initially talking to him near the end of the main festivities. I joined in the conversation and the moment I removed his sunglasses and our eyes met, I melted. Clearly they were blue. And fortunately, the meet-cute felt mutual. It wasn’t until we were at the next bar and I cleared things out with my partner in crime did him and I really start talking. Neither of us remember too much of the conversation. I remember holding hands. That smile. Those eyes. And kissing. Magical sparks type of kissing where when you part you can’t open your eyes because you’re so caught up in the moment.

This however, was fleeting as he was only in town for 13 days. He and his entrepreneurial self was going to be heading to Europe for a few months. My initial reaction was cursing my luck that the stars were not aligned for us but I decided to make the most of this and move forward when he invited me to go to a Jazz Bar during the week. We started at Fat Cat earlier in the evening and had great conversation. He was touchy, flirty and all things suave, especially in his grey sports coat. We later went to go meet up with a friend of mine at Hill Country BBQ but she had already left. That left us with the live band karaoke. Sadly, they never got to our names where we had signed up to sing Johnny and June Cash’s song Jackson (Thank God) but our night didn’t end there. We ended up back at my place, quite inebriated and making out on my rooftop. The situation went high level that night and after a mere one hour of sleep I went to work and just left him in my bed. At work I had Lost Frequencies remixes on reply while I trudged through with a hangover that I felt was well worth it.

“I wanna dance by water ‘neath the Mexican sky
Drink some Margaritas by a string of blue lights
Listen to the Mariachi play at midnight
Are you with me, are you with me?”

The next week and a half was a blur of Tito’s Vodka, sexcapades, rooftops and late nights. I even ventured out to Bushwick one night where his Airbnb was since most of our adventures were in Manhattan. I felt like I had a mini boyfriend. But, what made him so appealing with my rose-tinted glasses was that he was leaving. I had no reason to find anything wrong with him. I had no reason to worry about him seeing anyone else since he was essentially spending his whole two weeks in NYC with him, which was well worth it for the both of us. I didn’t have a reason to be upset that he didn’t pay my way at any point because he wasn’t actually a boyfriend and he didn’t need to woo me because we weren’t going to have an international relationship. I was completely myself with him and completely let go with him. Sure he had some 50 Shades of Jay tendencies, which I typically wouldn’t of been a part of but I knew this was all fleeting and wouldn’t last. It was almost magical.

He met all of my friends. He came back to Hill Country BBQ for my sorority happy hour. He sang and stole the show and I felt lucky to be the girl that he would kiss when he got off stage in his cowboy boots with his whisky in hand. He came to the watch party for the first game of TCU football and met all my friends there. He is a fellow Texan so he fit in naturally.

The best part of all this was meeting his friends and even though he was leaving I got to keep the friends in the end. I made two great friends and I thank Jay for bringing us together as we still hang out to this day. The night I met them was an entertaining one. I had my company summer picnic starting at 1pm so had started drinking early. Jay even came to my company picnic and participated in the games. He was such a good sport and it was so nice having him there. He had to leave early to drop off his backpack and my now best guy friends apartment but we had plans to join forces later. I continued drinking margaritas with my coworker and her boyfriend and we eventually met Jay and his friends at Hair of the Dog to drink before The Comedy Cellar show at midnight. My liver had had enough but my heart was in full speed ahead. We got to the comedy show and another girl there was surprisingly more drunk than myself who had been drinking for about 9 hours by this point. She would talk to me during the show and her and I ended up getting kicked out. They accused me of sleeping when I said I wasn’t talking and I definitely wasn’t as I was engaged in holding Jay’s hand. He was so great about the situation and left with me without seeing Dave Attell, who was the sole performer he wanted to see. Everything happens for a reason though because him and I went back to The Comedy Cellar on a Tuesday and not only did she get a show from Dave Attell but we got one for Aziz Ansari! It was one of the most fun nights. We also saw Amy Schumer but sadly she didn’t perform.

January 2016

It’s been about five months now. When he first left for Europe we chatted occasionally but then it completely subsided. I later learned that he wasn’t that great of a guy after all. I definitely had on rose-tinted glasses. I found out he was a smoker and definitely a man whore who got around so much that not so discreet pictures appear on social media to this day of past escapades. He definitely had some “big” things going for him and was adventurous but in the end, I’m glad I got new friends out of the whole ordeal instead of diseases. I wouldn’t take back those two weeks or meeting him as everything happens for a reason and I definitely wish him well as he is back in Texas now still learning who he is. He definitely helped me learn a lot about myself and taught me how to feel again.

 

Bicoastal Failure 

9000 miles later I can say that I tried and I learned a lot. LA guy was definitely a top story for me in 2015 and it is time to close that chapter for good. I never had my heart broken so hard and looking back I don’t understand what I even saw in him. I don’t understand why I let him come visit my in NYC as planned in June. The night before he left LA he asked me if I still wanted him to come. Our conversations had diminished and all my friends were telling me to dead the trip but I am not sure why I still have some small sliver of hope for a good time. The trip had some good, mostly bad and a lot of ugly.

The Good:

The night he arrived he was quite drunk. He tried to get me to meet him and a friend he made on the plane out at a bar. I, too, was getting my drink on to prepare for his arrival so I had the liquid courage to say he was coming to visit me so he can come to my place. That night we ended up at a local bar, Trinity Pub. He used to live next door to it with his ex-girlfriend, which is also around the block from my current apartment. I told him how much he hurt me in LA. He started crying and apologizing and saying how I didn’t deserve that and how he actually loved me. I took this all with a grain of salt. He said I wouldn’t have to pay for anything this trip

During his trip we went to the One World Trade Observatory the first day it opened. This was a great experience, that I probably should’ve experienced alone. We also went to the 9-11 Museum. He didn’t want to wait in line so he bought us a membership, which I get to benefit from. This was special to experience together even though I have already done the museum and the top of the Observatory was absolutely fantastic. We didn’t talk much but I enjoyed the company. After all of that we got drinks at a hotel and had good conversation about our jobs and I started talking about other guys.

The Bad: After the 9-11 museum and observatory we went to Le District for lunch. It was a bit pricey and after ordering things he definitely didn’t like and a lot of food waste, we walked around the market. Accidentally, a jar of jam fell from him grabbing another jar. As it landed and red jam went everywhere, even on my shoes, he looked at me and asked “Why did you do that?” There was no joking in his delivery. I tried to save it from its fall but it happened so quickly and it was all an accident.

The last day of his trip we went to Portchester to see two of his friends. I really liked them. We went to Bar Taco and a beer garden. They were very adament about me not paying for anything since I was housing LA Guy. But, he couldn’t of been more a jerk this day. On the train ride there I was simply trying to ask him about his travels, since he has done a lot. He took things too far when grotesquely describing the pigeons by the Louvre. I just didn’t understand why he was speaking this way to me.

The Ugly: 

He was very adament about meeting this friend from the plane so he invited her out to the Rangers playoffs game where we were with my friends. I had no intentions of building a friendship with her but I was civil. The next day he told me how she thought I was a bitch. My good friend Hank also stood up for my when I was ordering beers and shots at the bar. There were two guys talking to me and he asked LA Guy about going over there. LA Guy said I was fine. LA Guy was too busy flirting with 50 year old women. I feel bad my friends had to deal with him. At least Hank had a smoking buddy. That’s right, this guy continued the smoking. I wish I sent him to a hotel.

Sunday morning was one of the ugliest things that ever came out of his mouth. The night he was in tears he expressed he wanted to go to church with me since he knows how important it is to me. I woke him up that morning and asked if he still wanted to go. He said no (surprise surpirse since he had already made the 180 back to being an asshole after 24 hours). So I asked him what he wanted to do and he responded with “kill people.” To that, I decided to play into his crazy talk and ask who he wanted to kill first. The bastard said “baby Jesus.” I immediately told him how offensive that was. Looking back, I wish I kicked him out at that point. I went to church and prayed for him and then we headed to Portchester after I got back from Mass.

The best of all was two mornings in a row when I went to switch out our phones on the charger. He had preview text on and they lit up when I switched the phone. They were texts from a girl in LA saying she loved him and how “if this how forever feels I want it to be with you.” I inquired about him dating someone and he said kinda. I felt so bad for the girl. If I was at the point where I was saying things like that to a guy I would be so hurt to hear he flew across country to spend time with another girl.

He fortunately caught an earlier flight out on his last day. I think we both knew how bad of weekend it was even though he wrote me later that we did all these amazing things and had a great time. When he left I wished him well. I hated that he slept in my bed. Fortunately, nothing sexual happened and yet again, I spent too much money that I didn’t even have. Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me. I was a fool for letting him come after how Los Angeles went when I visited. I was a fool for letting him into my heart. I won’t say I regret it though as I learned a lot and am stronger and smarter from the experience. I know I only deserve the best.

The Boy She Met Online

Of course a majority of the guys I go out with are those from online, but this blog has a special meaning with that title. This guy, Brad, was a little too obsessed with Lifetime Movie Network. After the very nice free building breakfast, I left his place to him watching some twisted Lifetime movie with Alec Baldwin where he is was sleeping with his step daughter. Surprisingly, that wasn’t the last time I saw him. He came out to my after church social where he proceeded to tell me the story of an ex-girlfriend that sounded like a script for a new Lifetime movie where she goes psycho and he sticks around longer than he should.

But, we still talk. He is smart, accomplished, funny and we shared a sad story of lost family members and tattoos memorializing them. He is a lawyer in his mid 30s and has ran more than 40 marathons. He is definitely impressive on paper but I don’t know if that translates into chemistry in person. When we’re together it almost feels like friends. All we’ve done is cuddle and when he cuddles, I am treated like a body pillow. I much prefer to not have someone practically laying on top of me, even though he definitely weighs less than I do.

The first time we met was at Hill Country BBQ. He lived just a few blocks so he came and met my friends and I. We were there for karaoke and it was so sweet how he asked me what I wanted to drink before even meeting me. He showed up with my margarita on the rocks with salt just in time for my friends and I to get up and sing some Dixie Chicks. Great timing, Brad. All my friends really liked him and we parted ways that night as I went home with my best guy friend, James, who I think he was crushing on as well!

The second time we met was happy hour with my coworkers. Cleary I am starting a trend of having him meet all my friends, coworkers and church friends off the bat. We were at Barcelona Bar for a bit with my coworkers before heading to Alfies with my church friend, Ann. She ended up heading to a party and then him and I finally had some time to chat just us. Conversation was fantastic except for the what could also be a Lifetime story about some sublet he had from a guy that lit candles for him. He was witty and funny and three hours into talking I realized I left my work bag with my computer at Barcelona. I never saw anyone get a check so fast. Fortunately he was a marathoner, so we got back to the bar quickly and praise the Lord Barcelona had my bag in the back room. I bought us Republicans as Barack O-Bomber shot – red bull and vodka – to celebrate.

I didn’t see him again until I went over to his place after a drunken night out (where nothing happened) and then after the church event. I’m not completely writing him off. We still chat and he probably doesn’t write me much because he says he knows everything about my from my SnapChat. Yes, I have a snap problem but oh well. I’m hoping we meet again and our story takes more of a Nicholas Sparks turn instead of ending up on Lifetime even though he would still be a boy I met online.

I Need a MANhattan

The week before Thanksgiving I had a marathon of dates with JC. Four dates in one week, which is aggressive. Again, I was stepping out of my typical type and going for the more intelligent looking type of guy than the sporty all-American. He was very responsive with texts and I enjoyed his initiation of the game of “20 questions” which most likely turned into 200 questions via text and in person. Dates one and two were impressive and I was really into the guy. He was somewhat tall, glasses and endearing. Date one he “picked me up” from church and we went for dinner at Sushi of Gari. I learned of this place from LA Guy and was excited to check it out. We didn’t do the $120 Omikase but we did do three delicious rolls and a bottle of wine. Conversation was flowing along with the wine and I really appreciated how he treked from Jersey City to the Upper East Side to take me out.Little did I know that he was a super trekkie. We got some dessert wine at Pil Pil after dinner and then he walked me home. After some rooftop making out he went back to Dirty Jersey. He didn’t let me pay and was very kind. I honestly would peg this as one of the best first dates I even had.

Tuesday we walked around Bryant Park and went to dinner at a pub in the God-awful Times Square area. It was nice having someone else making the decisions, even though I would never decide to go to Times Square. He initially wanted to go to the top of the Empire State Building but I quickly vetoed that. However, while walking around Bryant Park, which was plan B, I noticed the Empire was purple. I was on a roll with my jokes this night, which he referred to as “dad jokes” and commented on how he ordered the Empire to be purple for me. My favorite color. Instead of ice skating, I opted to sit on a swing at the Southwest Porch and drink a beer. Ice skating is not my forte. Drinking however, is. We enjoyed the beers and an occasional brief makeout session until I was turned off when someone told us to get a room. Sorry, you’re just jealous but I really am not the biggest proponent of PDA anyway. The night ended in Grand Central as he headed back to Dirty Jerz and I stayed on my island of Manhattan.

So far all seems so well right? Wrong. Date number three was on a Friday. Jersey City. I am already bummed I am missing a night out with my friends as they are going to a piano bar and I’ve agreed to go to Jersey. Then my sorority sister invited me to a VIP Chase Rice concert. All the signs are pointing to “don’t go to Jersey.” However, I went and immediately when I got off the PATH in Jersey City I break out into hives on my chest. Obviously, we all know you can’t be allergic to a city but you sure can be allergic to dating apparently. I’ve already decided that I don’t want to date someone in Jersey. The commute was a bitch even though Jersey City was cute and reminded me of Astoria. No. Just no.

I walked to his place with my bottle of wine (he has yet to let me pay for anything so I brought wine. No questions asked!). His place was huge and mostly clean. Obviously, less money for more space in New Jersey. Little did I know that all his artwork was of nebulas and galaxies and his necklace that I thought was a crucifix (he said he was a Catholic!) was actually of a Hydrogen atom. This was a little much for me. I like smart nerdy but not nerdy nerdy and I soon discovered we had little in common. Dinner was at another sushi place, in Hoboken, and then we went to a German Beer Hall back in Jersey City. In the Uber to the beer hall I was so excited that thee of my favorite Justin Bieber songs were on. I was jammin’ to them with the Uber driver and JC could’ve been less interested. I think this was the moment he realized we didn’t have much in common. Back at his place we watched Love Actually and fell asleep. There was definitely no sexual chemistry and I didn’t let anything beyond kissing happen. Things just weren’t the same after date three like they were in date one and two. I also felt like maybe was trying to push things too fast. I’m like a snail with dating. I take my time and if you rush into it with me, I’ll crack.

Now it is Saturday and he dropped me off at my Ginger friend’s place in Secaucus and we already planned on him coming to the TCU Football watch party that night. I was kind of excited that he decided not to come but for some reason I suggested a Sunday brunch instead, since we both have raved about brunches. His trekkie self treked back to the Upper East  Side for us to get brunch. The bottomless mimosas were ideal. The conversation was not. He had forgotton things we had talked about and I found myself repeating often. He forgot he met my Ginger friend when I mentioned her name and what’s worse, forgot about the fact that I told him on date number three that my Dad had died. We were discussing Google results and he looked up my name. He said “why does this obituary pop up?” In a snarky tone I said how that was my dad. The Google search discussion ended there and that’s when I should’ve walked out to end the date.

It continued though with Starbucks and a walk through Central Park to Columbus Circle. The leaves were beautiful, but the pressured hand holding and make out stops turned me off. I just wanted to hold my hot dirty chai latte. We sat on a bench for a little while that I like to visit during lunch. He really wanted me to come back to Jersey City with him because he wanted to “do things” to me that were inappropriate in the park. Yeah, no. I’m so thankful I never slept with him. We bid adieu and I walked back home. I knew that would be the last time I would see him and that next night after he sent me some odd texts I told him that I had a great week but don’t see things progressing further. I was so relieved when his response was “I agree. Nice knowing you though.”

He ended up reaching out to me twice after this. One to wish me a Happy Thanksgiving and two to inquire about a job at Indeed. I forwarded his resume but don’t foresee that coming to fruition  based off his work history. JC was a nice guy with a big family. One of nine kids, worked in IT at a well-known company and was very kind. He just isn’t the boy for me and I hope he finds a girl that is more into Star Wars than Justin Bieber. As for me, someone please order up a Manhattan. I’m sticking to my island where I can’t see the stars or galaxies.

 

No Chemistry with the Chemist

Sometimes I like to venture out of my typical type of man and give others a chance. A few weeks ago I right swiped The Scientist on Tinder and we went out for drinks at Seamstress on a Friday night. He was bald and not really in a line of work I typically am attracted to. He seemed nice though and was 34 so I figured why not. I met my friends for happy hour prior and then strategically placed them at the bar around the corner from Seamstress. I wasn’t too thrilled about this date and now have learned that Fridays are for Friends and not dates.

The Scientist and I had a decent time at Seamstress on the Upper East Side. He was geographically desirable living in the same neighborhood as I so I much appreciated that. When I walked up he looked a little too eager to meet me. Conversation was decent. It included work, politics and his Doctorate in Chemistry. Thank goodness the cocktails were exciting and delicious because this date was not turning out that way. I told my friends I would send them a certain emoji for a great date, mediocre date and bad date. I ended up sending them to the mediocre emoji and said I was on my way. Because I am a nice person I invited The Scientist, in hopes he would politely decline but his eyes lit up all the way to his bald head to have the chance to hang out with my longer.

Typically I share these dates where I get the short stick but sometimes I hand out the short sticky myself. There were just no sparks and he was a super Liberal and seemed judgemental of my Conservative ways. We had met my friends at Iggy’s Karaoke which was a complete 180 from the romantic cocktail bar around the corner. I offered to buy our drinks here and he seemed pleased at this. He took the tab at the cocktail bar but I was a little disappointed he was so willing to let me take the tab here. I was also disappointed that he claimed he would never do karaoke. I decided I needed to get rid of The Scientist so I told him, after a $60 tab on my behalf, that I was tired and going to go home. I hugged my friends and told them I would be right back. The Scientist insisted on walking me the eight blocks home so I let him. Amidst the walk, he asked permission to hold my hand. I barely held it like a clam. I don’t get how this smart man couldn’t tell I was just not that into him. He may have been a chemist, but there was definitely no chemistry. I did a strategic side hug to avoid an awkward attempt to kiss and thanked him again.

Here is where I become the jerk. Once I got upstairs I changed my tall black boots for my Converse chucks and went to meet my friends back out at Brother Jimmy’s. The Scientist texted that he got home safely and had a great time. He said he loved meeting my friends and hinted at doing it again. I sent a vague message back and fortunately never heard from him again and am still living happily ever after with my friends.

The Strikeout

He had on a necklace of beads and I was intrigued and asked what it was. Lo and behold, it was a Rosary. This date was the week I was seeing Pope Francis in Central Park, too! He worked for the MLB and we met at Pazza Notte for two-for-one martinis. He had a deep Long Island accent and definitely looked like a typical Italian from Long Island. But he was sweet and nice and conversation was fantastic. We had texted a lot because he was very busy with baseball season going on so we got the basics out of the way. After two martinis however, this boy was definitely done. I was heading to karaoke with some friends so I had a cut off myself. My subway was right outside the restaurant and he was so awkward when saying bye. Instead of initiating a kiss like he had texted about he went for the “bro handshake” and said bye dude. So odd. He didn’t pitch that line very well.

He texted me how he had a great time. I was hoping we would go out again besides the failed goodbye. However, the next two times we were going to go out he either A. got busy with work or B. wanted me to come over. In regards to A, he told me that he is very busy during the season, which was March to November. So he essentially had three months out of the year where he was available. He told me he doesn’t manage his time very well and he spends sometimes 12 hour days at work. I am a big proponent of a work-life balance. I want to be with someone that definitely has a great job but he knows how to manage his time as well as prioritize his life.  Since once of the dates we had planned was on a weekend I didn’t expect to get the “I’m still stuck at work” excuse. Working weekends, too, is intense! This is what led to option B. Him wanting me to just come over because he was tired after a long day. This happened two to three times. He finally asked me if I had a problem with coming over to his house. Yes, I did. We had been on one date and I know what “coming over to watch a movie entails.” When I told him this he went on about how busy work was and this and that and then finally admitted he didn’t want anything serious, just physical.  First base maybe, a home run? No.

I wished him well and said if he ever wanted to hang out again on less superficial level once worked settled down to reach out and he said he will. He clearly wasn’t ready to take the plate for a relationship, much less dating. Just like baseball season has ended so has any potential with him. He struck out just like the Mets.