nyc dating

Beads of Green, Eyes of Blue, Happy Birthday to You!

I go to church every Sunday. I go for many reasons besides looking to meet a guy. But, that’s definitely not off the radar. I had my birthday this past week (29!) and part of my celebrations included celebrating my actual birthday on Mardi Gras at Bourbon St. in Times Square. A bunch of my friends came out and a bunch of people from church happened to be there as well for their own planned event.

Closer to the end of the night I met Brad. Brad was super cute, in kind of a hipster way. I loved his glasses and his blue eyes. I was instantly attracted and he was friends with some friends of mine so conversation came easily. I just loved the way he looked into my eyes and then kissed me at the piano bar, Don’t Tell Mama. I was almost mesmerized and the attention on my birthday was definitely welcomed.

We ended up going to another bar by my place, The Penrose. He seemed just perfect that night and who doesn’t want a little birthday make out/cuddle session? Clearly I’ve become prude in a good way because I am waiting to sleep with someone ever again until I am in a committed relationship with them. In the theme of most men, Brad tried to take this too far that night as well. Perhaps he thought my birthday wish list included birthday sex. Actually, no. We spent the next morning making out for a bit and he trekked the 18 blocks north home and I went back to bed and woke up at 3 p.m.

As some may know, Mardi Gras is the day before Ash Wednesday. Ash Wednesday begins penance and most Catholics do service or sacrifice. Since my birthday was on Mardi Gras and my NYC Half Marathon is a week before Easter I took this as a serious sign from God to legitimately give up the alcohol. When I woke up Wednesday at 3 p.m. I could never have been happier with my decision to give up alcohol. Not only did I feel like complete and utter shit from being hungover but I was mad that I let Brad come over because he was handsome, Catholic, funny and even though he didn’t have a job he had potential. There will probably be no future contact with Brad unless we meet again at another Catholic event. We did exchange business cards and are Facebook friends so if he wants to reach me he can. In the meantime, my bedroom floor is still full of Mardi Gras beads and those should probably be picked up before I step on them in the middle of the night!

Fault in Our Lone Stars

August 2015

I am beyond exhausted today, but it was well worth it. Staying up until 5:30 a.m. on your NYC rooftop talking to a high caliber man is everything romantic and fleeting at once. Especially when you can see the stars through the city lights.

I met Jazzy Jay at a Texas football event this past weekend where we spent five hours with an open bar and all things tasty and country to kickoff the football season. My Texas partner in crime was initially talking to him near the end of the main festivities. I joined in the conversation and the moment I removed his sunglasses and our eyes met, I melted. Clearly they were blue. And fortunately, the meet-cute felt mutual. It wasn’t until we were at the next bar and I cleared things out with my partner in crime did him and I really start talking. Neither of us remember too much of the conversation. I remember holding hands. That smile. Those eyes. And kissing. Magical sparks type of kissing where when you part you can’t open your eyes because you’re so caught up in the moment.

This however, was fleeting as he was only in town for 13 days. He and his entrepreneurial self was going to be heading to Europe for a few months. My initial reaction was cursing my luck that the stars were not aligned for us but I decided to make the most of this and move forward when he invited me to go to a Jazz Bar during the week. We started at Fat Cat earlier in the evening and had great conversation. He was touchy, flirty and all things suave, especially in his grey sports coat. We later went to go meet up with a friend of mine at Hill Country BBQ but she had already left. That left us with the live band karaoke. Sadly, they never got to our names where we had signed up to sing Johnny and June Cash’s song Jackson (Thank God) but our night didn’t end there. We ended up back at my place, quite inebriated and making out on my rooftop. The situation went high level that night and after a mere one hour of sleep I went to work and just left him in my bed. At work I had Lost Frequencies remixes on reply while I trudged through with a hangover that I felt was well worth it.

“I wanna dance by water ‘neath the Mexican sky
Drink some Margaritas by a string of blue lights
Listen to the Mariachi play at midnight
Are you with me, are you with me?”

The next week and a half was a blur of Tito’s Vodka, sexcapades, rooftops and late nights. I even ventured out to Bushwick one night where his Airbnb was since most of our adventures were in Manhattan. I felt like I had a mini boyfriend. But, what made him so appealing with my rose-tinted glasses was that he was leaving. I had no reason to find anything wrong with him. I had no reason to worry about him seeing anyone else since he was essentially spending his whole two weeks in NYC with him, which was well worth it for the both of us. I didn’t have a reason to be upset that he didn’t pay my way at any point because he wasn’t actually a boyfriend and he didn’t need to woo me because we weren’t going to have an international relationship. I was completely myself with him and completely let go with him. Sure he had some 50 Shades of Jay tendencies, which I typically wouldn’t of been a part of but I knew this was all fleeting and wouldn’t last. It was almost magical.

He met all of my friends. He came back to Hill Country BBQ for my sorority happy hour. He sang and stole the show and I felt lucky to be the girl that he would kiss when he got off stage in his cowboy boots with his whisky in hand. He came to the watch party for the first game of TCU football and met all my friends there. He is a fellow Texan so he fit in naturally.

The best part of all this was meeting his friends and even though he was leaving I got to keep the friends in the end. I made two great friends and I thank Jay for bringing us together as we still hang out to this day. The night I met them was an entertaining one. I had my company summer picnic starting at 1pm so had started drinking early. Jay even came to my company picnic and participated in the games. He was such a good sport and it was so nice having him there. He had to leave early to drop off his backpack and my now best guy friends apartment but we had plans to join forces later. I continued drinking margaritas with my coworker and her boyfriend and we eventually met Jay and his friends at Hair of the Dog to drink before The Comedy Cellar show at midnight. My liver had had enough but my heart was in full speed ahead. We got to the comedy show and another girl there was surprisingly more drunk than myself who had been drinking for about 9 hours by this point. She would talk to me during the show and her and I ended up getting kicked out. They accused me of sleeping when I said I wasn’t talking and I definitely wasn’t as I was engaged in holding Jay’s hand. He was so great about the situation and left with me without seeing Dave Attell, who was the sole performer he wanted to see. Everything happens for a reason though because him and I went back to The Comedy Cellar on a Tuesday and not only did she get a show from Dave Attell but we got one for Aziz Ansari! It was one of the most fun nights. We also saw Amy Schumer but sadly she didn’t perform.

January 2016

It’s been about five months now. When he first left for Europe we chatted occasionally but then it completely subsided. I later learned that he wasn’t that great of a guy after all. I definitely had on rose-tinted glasses. I found out he was a smoker and definitely a man whore who got around so much that not so discreet pictures appear on social media to this day of past escapades. He definitely had some “big” things going for him and was adventurous but in the end, I’m glad I got new friends out of the whole ordeal instead of diseases. I wouldn’t take back those two weeks or meeting him as everything happens for a reason and I definitely wish him well as he is back in Texas now still learning who he is. He definitely helped me learn a lot about myself and taught me how to feel again.

 

The Boy She Met Online

Of course a majority of the guys I go out with are those from online, but this blog has a special meaning with that title. This guy, Brad, was a little too obsessed with Lifetime Movie Network. After the very nice free building breakfast, I left his place to him watching some twisted Lifetime movie with Alec Baldwin where he is was sleeping with his step daughter. Surprisingly, that wasn’t the last time I saw him. He came out to my after church social where he proceeded to tell me the story of an ex-girlfriend that sounded like a script for a new Lifetime movie where she goes psycho and he sticks around longer than he should.

But, we still talk. He is smart, accomplished, funny and we shared a sad story of lost family members and tattoos memorializing them. He is a lawyer in his mid 30s and has ran more than 40 marathons. He is definitely impressive on paper but I don’t know if that translates into chemistry in person. When we’re together it almost feels like friends. All we’ve done is cuddle and when he cuddles, I am treated like a body pillow. I much prefer to not have someone practically laying on top of me, even though he definitely weighs less than I do.

The first time we met was at Hill Country BBQ. He lived just a few blocks so he came and met my friends and I. We were there for karaoke and it was so sweet how he asked me what I wanted to drink before even meeting me. He showed up with my margarita on the rocks with salt just in time for my friends and I to get up and sing some Dixie Chicks. Great timing, Brad. All my friends really liked him and we parted ways that night as I went home with my best guy friend, James, who I think he was crushing on as well!

The second time we met was happy hour with my coworkers. Cleary I am starting a trend of having him meet all my friends, coworkers and church friends off the bat. We were at Barcelona Bar for a bit with my coworkers before heading to Alfies with my church friend, Ann. She ended up heading to a party and then him and I finally had some time to chat just us. Conversation was fantastic except for the what could also be a Lifetime story about some sublet he had from a guy that lit candles for him. He was witty and funny and three hours into talking I realized I left my work bag with my computer at Barcelona. I never saw anyone get a check so fast. Fortunately he was a marathoner, so we got back to the bar quickly and praise the Lord Barcelona had my bag in the back room. I bought us Republicans as Barack O-Bomber shot – red bull and vodka – to celebrate.

I didn’t see him again until I went over to his place after a drunken night out (where nothing happened) and then after the church event. I’m not completely writing him off. We still chat and he probably doesn’t write me much because he says he knows everything about my from my SnapChat. Yes, I have a snap problem but oh well. I’m hoping we meet again and our story takes more of a Nicholas Sparks turn instead of ending up on Lifetime even though he would still be a boy I met online.

I Need a MANhattan

The week before Thanksgiving I had a marathon of dates with JC. Four dates in one week, which is aggressive. Again, I was stepping out of my typical type and going for the more intelligent looking type of guy than the sporty all-American. He was very responsive with texts and I enjoyed his initiation of the game of “20 questions” which most likely turned into 200 questions via text and in person. Dates one and two were impressive and I was really into the guy. He was somewhat tall, glasses and endearing. Date one he “picked me up” from church and we went for dinner at Sushi of Gari. I learned of this place from LA Guy and was excited to check it out. We didn’t do the $120 Omikase but we did do three delicious rolls and a bottle of wine. Conversation was flowing along with the wine and I really appreciated how he treked from Jersey City to the Upper East Side to take me out.Little did I know that he was a super trekkie. We got some dessert wine at Pil Pil after dinner and then he walked me home. After some rooftop making out he went back to Dirty Jersey. He didn’t let me pay and was very kind. I honestly would peg this as one of the best first dates I even had.

Tuesday we walked around Bryant Park and went to dinner at a pub in the God-awful Times Square area. It was nice having someone else making the decisions, even though I would never decide to go to Times Square. He initially wanted to go to the top of the Empire State Building but I quickly vetoed that. However, while walking around Bryant Park, which was plan B, I noticed the Empire was purple. I was on a roll with my jokes this night, which he referred to as “dad jokes” and commented on how he ordered the Empire to be purple for me. My favorite color. Instead of ice skating, I opted to sit on a swing at the Southwest Porch and drink a beer. Ice skating is not my forte. Drinking however, is. We enjoyed the beers and an occasional brief makeout session until I was turned off when someone told us to get a room. Sorry, you’re just jealous but I really am not the biggest proponent of PDA anyway. The night ended in Grand Central as he headed back to Dirty Jerz and I stayed on my island of Manhattan.

So far all seems so well right? Wrong. Date number three was on a Friday. Jersey City. I am already bummed I am missing a night out with my friends as they are going to a piano bar and I’ve agreed to go to Jersey. Then my sorority sister invited me to a VIP Chase Rice concert. All the signs are pointing to “don’t go to Jersey.” However, I went and immediately when I got off the PATH in Jersey City I break out into hives on my chest. Obviously, we all know you can’t be allergic to a city but you sure can be allergic to dating apparently. I’ve already decided that I don’t want to date someone in Jersey. The commute was a bitch even though Jersey City was cute and reminded me of Astoria. No. Just no.

I walked to his place with my bottle of wine (he has yet to let me pay for anything so I brought wine. No questions asked!). His place was huge and mostly clean. Obviously, less money for more space in New Jersey. Little did I know that all his artwork was of nebulas and galaxies and his necklace that I thought was a crucifix (he said he was a Catholic!) was actually of a Hydrogen atom. This was a little much for me. I like smart nerdy but not nerdy nerdy and I soon discovered we had little in common. Dinner was at another sushi place, in Hoboken, and then we went to a German Beer Hall back in Jersey City. In the Uber to the beer hall I was so excited that thee of my favorite Justin Bieber songs were on. I was jammin’ to them with the Uber driver and JC could’ve been less interested. I think this was the moment he realized we didn’t have much in common. Back at his place we watched Love Actually and fell asleep. There was definitely no sexual chemistry and I didn’t let anything beyond kissing happen. Things just weren’t the same after date three like they were in date one and two. I also felt like maybe was trying to push things too fast. I’m like a snail with dating. I take my time and if you rush into it with me, I’ll crack.

Now it is Saturday and he dropped me off at my Ginger friend’s place in Secaucus and we already planned on him coming to the TCU Football watch party that night. I was kind of excited that he decided not to come but for some reason I suggested a Sunday brunch instead, since we both have raved about brunches. His trekkie self treked back to the Upper East  Side for us to get brunch. The bottomless mimosas were ideal. The conversation was not. He had forgotton things we had talked about and I found myself repeating often. He forgot he met my Ginger friend when I mentioned her name and what’s worse, forgot about the fact that I told him on date number three that my Dad had died. We were discussing Google results and he looked up my name. He said “why does this obituary pop up?” In a snarky tone I said how that was my dad. The Google search discussion ended there and that’s when I should’ve walked out to end the date.

It continued though with Starbucks and a walk through Central Park to Columbus Circle. The leaves were beautiful, but the pressured hand holding and make out stops turned me off. I just wanted to hold my hot dirty chai latte. We sat on a bench for a little while that I like to visit during lunch. He really wanted me to come back to Jersey City with him because he wanted to “do things” to me that were inappropriate in the park. Yeah, no. I’m so thankful I never slept with him. We bid adieu and I walked back home. I knew that would be the last time I would see him and that next night after he sent me some odd texts I told him that I had a great week but don’t see things progressing further. I was so relieved when his response was “I agree. Nice knowing you though.”

He ended up reaching out to me twice after this. One to wish me a Happy Thanksgiving and two to inquire about a job at Indeed. I forwarded his resume but don’t foresee that coming to fruition  based off his work history. JC was a nice guy with a big family. One of nine kids, worked in IT at a well-known company and was very kind. He just isn’t the boy for me and I hope he finds a girl that is more into Star Wars than Justin Bieber. As for me, someone please order up a Manhattan. I’m sticking to my island where I can’t see the stars or galaxies.